Run 1574 / Report Run 1573

Run 1574

Wednesday, March 27, 2013
Shui Mei Tsuen, Kam Tin
Co-ordinates: 022o 26′ 45.5″ N / 114o 03′ 50.4″ E
Hares: Hard Up & Wan Hung Lo

Same place as their last run – park at big gravel car park near the study hall; start at pagoda just over the stream by the new empty houses.

Run 1575 hare: Dingaling
The hareline

Run 1573
Mango Does It Twice
By One Eyed Jack

Damp hare

The night was hamstrung by a combination of bad weather and absenteeism for whatever reason, and in the end only three hashers did the run. One Eyed Jack was first to arrive at the start (new record), being met by a damp hare who declared that he was going to go off
and re-set the trail, as an earlier rain shower had washed away all his chalk markings. Even after all this time the hare did not know how to
lay trail for inclement weather!
Serbian Multi-Hyphenate arrived in a taxi, then we were joined by Eunuch with the beer. The run could now go ahead. After giving Mango a grace period of 20 minutes, the pack of three set off in pursuit. The trail for those who want to know went like this:
Over the footbridge, along the dual carriageway to Kam Tin, first right, then in towards the villages. Left up through the graveyard, right at the top and up and up to the trig point. Left and round to the right and down to a water tank at a saddle, left along the road down to the locked gate at the underground reservoir, then around a really dodgy mountain goat track, where Serbian slipped and ended upside down. Back down onto the road, right over a small hill past some graves and back down to Kam Tin Road. Then it was left along it to the roundabout, where Eunuch shortcut and did not follow trail, leaving One Eyed Jack to come in first, followed by Serbian with Eunuch being disqualified.
On reaching the bucket we were met by the returned hare, a rather jolly Golden Balls, a rather pretty Hard Up and a slightly under the weather Wan Hung Lo, gloating over one of his assailants being banged up for “soliciting a homosexual act”, among other offences.
Eunuch declared a free run. The pack ate Pop-Pans and drank beer and insulted each other.

Run 1573 / Report Run 1572

Run 15733

Wednesday, March 20, 2013
Au Tau, next to the Thai restaurant near Pok Oi Hospital
Closest MTR: Yuen Long
Bus route: 64K
Hare: Mango Groove

Next run: Chris Higgins (to be confirmed)
The hareline

Run 1572

The Key to Something or Other
By Golden Balls

“Where’s me washboard?”

 I arrived early to find Velcro Lips flapping about with half the contents of her car littering the pavement and Tooth Hurty looking bemused. “We never see this on the Kowloon Hash,” he proclaimed self-righteously, “we’re gay and we’re proud!” I wondered idly why Velcro seemed to be getting her camping equipment out – pots, burners, gas canisters – but then the convoy arrived: Moonie; Eunuch and Mango Groove; Gunpowder Plod and Serbian Bomber; One-Eyed Jack; Dingaling and Sam; Dram; Luk Sup Gow; Salesman. A fine turn-out at the top of Sui Wo Road and an equally fine view from the pagoda out across the valley and down to the skyscapers of Sha Tin. But where was the hare?

Eventually G-Spot arrived looking suspiciously clean and claiming to have got lost. Like last week, there were apparently competing marks out there and we were to ignore them. We’d run these faithful old trails several times before so there wouldn’t be any surprises. “It’ll be deja vu all over again,” he quipped before setting us off.

First check was on the roundabout next to the start, which everybody except Serbian Bomber ignored as we headed out to the junction where all knew we had to turn sharp left and into the trails. Almost immediately a rambo-wimp split, with the rambos heading down steps towards Sha Tin and the wimps carrying on towards Needle Hill. The split had divided the pack 50-50, but five minutes later the trails converged and on up we went. And up. And up. And up. From my vantage point at the rear I could see a group of torches half way up the hill and hear the usual raucous bellowing and insults, and far, far ahead, at the top, the solitary pinprick of light that had to be Moonie. This was the last we were to see of him until long after we’d all finished.

I finally crested the top of the hill only to be bamboozled off the path by a charging Velco Lips muttering something about wrong markings, shiggy, neckie, and going back! The long ascent led to a delightful stretch of ridge running long descent on horrible newly laid crazy-paving steps. Why do the authorities think we want our trails paved? I fell into lockstep with Serbian Bomber and down we went. And down. And down. And down. Dram was caught and so three of us fell into a tidy group, so far behind the pack we could no longer hear them calling. We hit the checkback that Moonie had run straight past as he ballsed up the entire run from the top of the hill. Some great shiggy trails, then down to a stream bed and the second rambo-wimp split, with the rambos going right in the direction of Sha Tin and the wimps crossing the stream. I solved a tricky non-check on the way up to the ridge and never saw Dram or Serbian Bomber again, motoring home to find Eunuch and Mango Groove (rambos) and Dingaling and One Eyed Jack (wimps) already at the pagoda, along with All The Way and a besuited Desperate Dan, and perennial non-runner LSG. And there was Velcro Lips, carving bread and brewing up a chicken curry with her camping kit.

Meanwhile it turned out the rambo trail had gone right down to the Sha Tin temples and back up via another stiff climb. The rest trickled in: Tooth Hurty (rambo), Dram, Serbian Bomber, Gunpowder Plod (rambo), Salesman (rambo). Still no sign of Moonie. Hmmm. But then he arrived making guttural Mancunian noises with a tale of woe about screwing up all the checks. If the courting couples meekly trying to claim romantic real estate at the pagoda for a snog and fumble hadn’t had enough by now, they certainly had when Moonie arrived – and that was even before he did his “thing”.

Mango went back to Eunuch’s car to get his bag and I suggested he get mine while he was at it, but he forgot. Being the stalwart chap he is, he went back specially to get my bag and returned with Eunuch’s, and when I called him a dozy git he thrust the keys at me and said “Go and get it yourself you lazy batty boy.” Then it was the circle.

The usual rowdiness and crackling wit ensued as Plod valiantly struggled to keep control. On the periphery, Mango and Eunuch could be seen rooting around looking worried. Evidently Mango had lost Eunuch’s car keys. I pushed them deeper into my pocket as first one then the other went off on a key-locating exercise, before the keys mysteriously reappeared precisely where Mango had been standing. “I must be getting Alzheimers,” Mango reflected when he miraculously found them. Too right!

And so bread was chomped, curry consumed, salad (a choice of with or without coriander!) sucked, beer necked and the evening ended in the characteristic blur of energy, irreverence and pandemonium that typified another great night on the Northern New Territories.


 At the end of the circle the pack stood as one and raised their tinnies to Hughiee, who passed away on this day (March 13) one year ago.

Hughiee – Phil Quy – was a committed hasher and a regular on Shek Kong and Northern New Territories hashes before leaving these shores. He kept in touch and returned to run with Shek Kong from time to time, his most infamous appearance being when Shek Kong were banned from Leafy Glade after he’d hared a run and then dashed off to the airport while we were on trail. He was of course ignorant of the fact that the circle was not to be held at Leafy Glade (no daipaidong run as the accounts were in the red) and told Leafy to get loads of beer in – which they did, and when we didn’t turn up to buy it they told us never to darken their doors again. The exile to Wishing Tree lasted three years.

Hughiee was a great hash historian and kept up a regular correspodence with Tumbling Bill Panton of the KL mother hash. Tumbling Bill was particularly interested in Hughiee’s unearthing of an RAF serviceman who in an email said he had hashed in Shek Kong in the 60s. If corroborated, it would have rewritten the Hong Kong hash history book, but alas now we will never know. You can read his history of the Shek Kong and Northern New Territories hashes here (this was written before his contact with the RAF man, recorded here).

Above all, Hughiee was a great bloke who cared deeply about the hash and the friends he made there. He is sorely missed. Our continued condolences go out to his wife, Ann (Garouper).

With Rocky, 2007

With DD, 2007

Hughiee in his element, Garoupa front right, 1998

Run 1572 / Report 1571

Run 1572

Wednesday, March 13, 2007
Fo Tan, pagoda at end of Sui Wo Road
Hare: G-Spot
On on: Pigeon daipaidong

Next hare: Mango Groove
The Hareline

Run 1571
Toilet Trading

By Mango Groove

The way Cotton Bud thinks
Golden Balls had selected one of his most loved places to start the run this week, the public toilets in front of the BBQ pits at the Tsing Lung Tau entrance to Tai Lam Country Park, and indeed after setting the trail he found Kowloon Hash stalwart Cotton Bud loitering there claiming to be waiting for his “client”. Serbian Bomber was also there one hour early and was seen doing a pre-run assessment of where the trail went, but he still managed to finish at the back. One Eyed jack was last to arrive in a big huge wagon of some sort, acquired no doubt especially for his new bike. Or perhaps he was dumbing down his auto, given the grief the Merc and Jag owners got last week. Other runners present included Moonie, Eunuch, Mango Groove, Velcro Lips, G-Spot and Golden Jelly. 
Once everyone had got their kit off Golden Balls started to explain his markings. “Ignore the arrows shaped as 4”…”Some pooffy hash was here on Monday and their checks are crap our checks are great …this is a check-back…on-on is two blobs of flour and it will be an hour.” After hurrahs for Golden Balls we took off leaving Golden Jelly to look after the beer as Eunuch was worried that someone might steal his most prized stash of Skol and Carlsberg Special.
Moonie and Eunuch led the way from the first check and as usual made a complete cock-up as trail was found leading over the dam and onto the country park trail. As we ran along Eunuch suddenly stopped and looked up some steps muttering something about it could be a check back further along. However we didn’t bother listening to clever little Eunuch and instead followed Moonie who led us straight onto a check back. Yes! it went up the steps and kept going up the hillside, sometimes flattening out a little, sometimes dipping down a little but always going up. Now as we neared the top of the first hill and about 25 minutes or so into the run One Eyed Jack suddenly appeared at the front of the pack (how on Earth he managed to pull off such an intricate shortcut is beyond belief). 
The way One Eyed Jack thinks
As we descended the hill, a check had poor Mango bamboozled, so much so that he followed trail all the way down almost onto the road only to climb all the way back to find G-Spot had solved it in about a millisecond. It was at this point that Serbian Bomber, G-Spot and Mango formed their own little group as Moonie and Eunuch had long gone and One Eyed Jack was almost certainly shortcutting more of the trail. 
Some great running followed as we ran along country trail leading us in the general direction of Tsing Lung Tau, as indicated by a few signposts. As we headed back onto the concrete path G-Spot paid special attention to mark the checks for Serbian Bomber. G-Spot actually ran off trail to find a big piece of chalky stone which appeared to do the trick as Serbian Bomber didn’t actually get lost this week.
The way we think

Back at the buckets Golden Jelly had busied herself in making the biggest fire possible. Golden Balls was passing around his hip flask with some very nice tasting whisky. G-Spot found a two-by-four and threw it on the fire but Golden Jelly removed, saying it was still useful wood. G-Spot retorted he could do what he liked with it because it belonged to his company. So we put it on the fire. After a short circle around the bonfire, the conversation centred on Velcro’s new and pending Northern New Territories Hash shirt. Most agreed that the sample version G-Spot was modelling looked pretty good and hopefully we can get some done soon. And as the flames dwindled we loaded the eskies back into Eunuch’s car, who refused to chuck away the ice because he intended have suck on a few coldies when he got home. Top man.

Trail 7.5-8km.

Run 1571 / Report 1570

Run 1571 – Not China

Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Entrance to Tai Lam Country Park, Tsing Lung Tau
Time: 7.30pm
Hare: Golden Balls

The scheduled Shenzhen run has been postponed due to lack of interest / visas / gumption. LSG will now attempt to host the “Futian Trot” for his birthday in September. Visa alert!

Run 1570

Saved by the Belle
By Serbian Spammer Bomber Baron Diver von Mooseheime

Well – wasn’t this a run of revelations? Those of you who missed it will be shocked, I tell you. Shocked! Rule number 1 has been thrown out the window.

It all started innocently enough. I arrived in good time, having cadged a lift from Plod. We found our hare – Moonie – lurking a 100 metres away from the daipaidong and waited with him for everyone else to arrive.

Then this big flash poncy merc arrived and instead of driving on past to get to the village houses, it parked. LSG climbed out. From Moonie’s comments at the time, Plod and I had no idea how turned on Moonie was by this turn of events. Well! More would be revealed later. Next arrivals, Eunuch and Mango. Eunuch almost rear-ending the parked Mercedes in his eagerness to get out of his car, unload the beer and start running… And then another flash git – a Jaguar. “Who is this?” everyone asked. “Is it One-Eyed Jack?” Wrong. Tooth Hurty – a visitor from Kowloon Hash. Then Golden Balls strolled down the road.
Flash git LSG and his Merc after Eunuch had finished with it

By now 7:30 had arrived and gone and GM Plod had had enough of waiting – or at least he had had enough of waiting in the wafting stink of sewers, and other assorted unpleasant smells. So off we went in search of trail.

At first by clever check hanging I managed to enjoy a nice easy run but, as other runners kept going off checking down wrong trails (or in one case being suckered into checking all the wrong places by GB) and were now behind me, somehow I ended up being the FRB calling trail and checks, with Mango and Plod following behind me. Eunuch caught us after prancing Bambi-like through a shortcut and together we headed on in search of trail.

After searching a few hundred metres down the wrong way from a check I finally found myself behind the pack instead of leading it – except for GB and the hasher he had bamboozled. And after working hard to catch up and keep up, I found myself keeping Plod company at the tail. Tooth Hurty also caught up with us, having finally overcome GB’s explanations to figure out for himself how Moonie’s trail and checks worked.

Eventually as we rounded a final corner – 6.25km from the start – we spied the hare waiting for us in the distance and I sprinted past Plod for a fast finish despite his over-competitive attempt to shove me into the bushes and his dire warnings of “not giving you a lift home”.

Stunned by my finishing with the pack and also by my not getting lost (and not at all out of breath from my sprinting) I failed to notice the ambience at the finish. Soft make-out music playing from speakers… Hare Moonie and non-runner LSG listening to the sounds of Whitney Houston and similar unmanly stuff, with stars in their eyes… All the other hashers nervously hiding behind their beers and keeping their distance, sure that there had been cheek-to-cheek dancing while they were out pounding round the trail… Things had taken a desperate turn with no women on this night’s run.
Moonie feeling up LSG, yesterday

As I was pondering this strange turn of events and the blatant abandonment of rule number 1, late starter One-Eyed Jack arrived back, complaining vigorously about wrongly marked checks. Well, it wasn’t me or Mango. We didn’t mark any of them. Finally GB arrived from completely the wrong direction having forgotten whether you are supposed to follow the point of the arrow or the tail…

During circle, downdowns were handed down for all of the misdeeds catalogued above, and for other perceived misdeeds too. But typical police mentality – Plod didn’t care if he was pursuing the guilty or fitting up the innocent so long as he was giving out downdowns – and somehow I found myself on the receiving end of more than my fair share of these downdowns despite my obvious blamelessness.
Golden Jelly: She chops down trees, she wears high heels…

Then Golden Jelly (who arrived just for circle and thereby single-handedly rescued us from becoming a gay hash) spent some time distributing her home-grown organic “tomatoes and strawberries” and after sampling these sweet wares we all drifted home in a cloud of bliss. Strawberry fields forever!


Mar 13
Mar 20
Mango Groove
Mar 27
Hard Up / Chris Higgins
Apr 3
Ching Ming Eve
Apr 10
Walky Talky
Apr 17
One Eyed Jack
Apr 24
Tangerine Dream
May 1
Golden Balls
Labour Day
May 8
May 15
May 22