Month: August 2013

Run 1596 / Report Run 1595

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Run 1596
Wednesday, August 21, 7.30pm

217 Sha Lan Villas, Shuen Wan, Tai Po
Minibus 20K from Tai Po MTR
Rambo and wimp trails
Hare: Stingray 9836 1044
Hare says: TOP weather, TOP run, TOP food, TOP music, TOP…everything

Next hare: Mango Groove, August 28
The hareline

Run 1595
Where The Wind Blows!!!!!!!!!
By Mango Groove

Aftermath of a mock typhoon

It is 6.30pm. Stingray picks up Mango from Tai Po…hoping to get to the run before the masses of hashers from across Hong Kong converge on the pagoda at Brides Pool..cos everyone has had the day off. At 7.20pm G-spot shows up, followed by Dingaling the hare and co-hare Overdue.  At 7.40pm Tangerine Dream Ginger Moon, BJ, Electrolux and One Eyed Jack (fresh from the T8 hash earlier) show up.

Move along, nothing to see here
But where is Salesman…let us wait for Salesman…we must wait for Salesman…the homemade burgers, they make him come…no, bugger it, let’s start. Dingaling, being the well prepared dude that he is, had everything sorted with shredded paper, four A4 size paper checks plus GPS info stating a 250-metre ascent plus a 5.8km trail. 
So off we went (without Salesman) straight up the steps opposite the pagoda. Halfway up Ginger Moon offered to collect some wild berries for me as an energy booster, but I politely declined. After 15 minutes we get to the first check with G-Spot disappearing left into bush but Tangerine Dream and One Eyed Jack managing to solve the first check quickly, with trail heading further upwards along some very new looking concrete steps. Just off the top, the second check had us going right and down a little, keeping on the proper walking trail but it now became a game of dodge the froggy. The third check took us right and up a little before a nice long run along the contour paths, again littered with frogs. At the final check we went right, bumping into Golden Balls, who magically appeared…pissed as a fart having also done the T8 hash and then spent the afternoon in the King’s Belly with Farty, LSG and Eunuch (who didn’t make it). 
As we all arrived back the rain came down but this didn’t prevent Ginger Moon from pulling out his remote control tank and BJ and Electrolux pulling out their fold-up deck chairs. Chat at the bucket centered around Salesman’s recent exploits in Istanbul and the pending cycling tour. Golden Jelly arrived just before the circle, which was led by Salesman. Overdue prepared some fantastic homemade burgers complete with salad and condiments. After a couple more drinks we headed home to bed.  Brilliant effort by Dingaling and Overdue on a damp-squibby typhoon day.

Run 1595 / Report Run 1594

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Run 1595
Wednesday, August 14, 2013

“The run will start when every one gets there, that will be 7:20pm plus travelling say 30 min or 7:50pm.”
Bride’s Pool car park, above the bus terminus. About 500m from Wu Kau Tang Road
On-site food – home-made burgers
Great run – 5.8km, no shiggy
Hare: Dingaling

Next hare: August 21, Stingray
The hareline

Run 1594
The Psychotic PLB
By Billy Jizz



Will anyone be at Hong LokYuen at 7.00pm? I asked. Yes I’ll be there as normal, replied Eunuch.
As promised, Eunuch turned up at 7 at the mozzie-infested meeting point for the Northern New Territories hash. I innocently asked if anyone else would be arriving, setting Eunuch off on a full-blown rant that the NT hash isn’t what it used to be, nobody meets at HLY anymore, the GM wants to start runs at 7.30 when everyone knows the run start time is when the HLY pack arrives, its not BLOODY 7.30, he continued to rant whilst offering me a beer.
7.15 arrived and off we set. Do you know where the start is? asked Eunuch. Helpfully I replied that it was about 400m from the start of the lesser hash  run last Sunday. Arse! replied Eunuch, not having been on that run. But being the hashers that we are, and knowing that it was close to Fairview Park we knew we would find it. We arrived at the start, setting off a double rant from Eunuch, first when there was nowhere to park and secondly when some dipstick driver got right behind him when he was trying to reverse.
We got out of the car with the GM shouting hurry up we need to start the run, its after 7.30! QED. We don our PE kit and head over to the pagoda. Monkey Shite is giving the briefing to the pack, containing to my surprise some hot totty – Tangerine Dream was there in a pair of fashionable sexy running shorts. Then there was, Stingray, Plod, Serbian Bomber, Eunuch and myself, not a big pack but about the norm nowadays I was told. (If you’re reading this and were not there, get off your arse on a Wednesday night, your hash needs you.) The brief was almost over when Golden Balls arrived. Nno hills but lots of checks, said Monkey Shite handing out chalk, and off we set, with most of the pack missing the turn under the footbridge and being called back by the hare.

By this time, three minutes into the run, the pack was already well strung out, the FRBs TD and Serbian Bomber were nowhere to be seen with the rest of the pack bimbling about at walking pace. A few checks later and having discovered that all the marks were on lamp posts or the odd wall, the pack was joined by latecomer Dingaling and the pace picked up. Trail was almost exclusively on village footpaths and roads, with as promised numerous checks. It was whilst checking out one of said checks that the FRB’s leapt out from behind a building laughing and giggling like a couple of naughty schoolkids and ran off down the trail we had just came up. So, (a) what had they been up to, and (b) what did they know that we didn’t? Trail was called by Dingaling heading off in the opposite direction to the FRBs. It was around this time that the psychotic no.38 PLB first showed its bumper, chasing Stingray for 100m before he was able to turn down a narrow path not wide enough for the bus.
We wound our way through the village streets for about 20 minutes following a well marked trail and exchanging pleasantries all the way, such as Stingray this is your fault you arse, you checked out this direction, but only as far as the second lamppost it seemed as the arrow was on the third lamppost! However it was not all Stingrays fault, as by this time he was a total nervous wreck. the psychotic bus had made two more appearances, on both occasions singling out Stingray and pursuing him mercilessly until he managed to give it the slip. (You had to have been there.) By this time the pack was down to four runners, the FRBs were nowhere to be seen and we had lost Golden Balls somewhere along the way.
We arrived at a check at a T-junction and who should be there but the FRBs, unable to find the trail. There was a CB about 150m from the check. After a bit of a check around, Eunuch headed off down a gravel trail found behind an abandoned car. No calls were heard from Eunuch and everyone else wandered around looking for trail. After a few minutes when Eunuch did not come back it was assumed he’d found trail and we all followed him down the gravel trail. No markings on the trail and after about 100m we hit another road, still no markings and no Eunuch. So the decision was made let’s just head back to the start and get a cold beer. “Ah,” said Stingray, in his cockney twang, it might be slightly warm beer, I couldn’t get much ice. Lots of kind advice was given to Stingray and all in the best possible taste. As we were heading back the two FRBs decided they wanted to go back and look for trail, so the remaining three followed the road home, and yet again the dreaded no.38 PLB turned up, chasing the three runners all the way home.
Back home, the hare explained where we had gone wrong and we learnt we had only done about half the run, having been out for over an hour. The GM would have been really pissed off had we done the full run (see later for explanation). About 5 minutes later the FRBs arrived not having been able to find trail, and still no sign of Eunuch.
Golden Balls, true to his word (if almost two years late) hands out 1500th Run T-shirts to myself and Stingray, which we both immediately slip over our heads to model for the pack.
OK said Dingaling, I’m off home. What, before the circle? Yes, I was out on the piss last night and I will be again tomorrow night, I need to go home and go to bed. See you in the Belly on Friday, he said as he left.
Right, said the GM lets have the circle. But all the runners aren’t back, you can’t have the circle until everyone is back. Some of us have a long way to travel and it’s getting late, replied the GM, shouting “Circle in five!” The five minutes were almost up when in lopes Eunuch, who had picked up the trail but then lost it again.
A short circle followed, with the GM handing out the obligatory down downs to the hare, returnees and other assorted made up charges.
A really enjoyable run, the piss-taking banter was top notch as ever, and my personal thanks to the hare for putting in all the effort to set the run.
See you all next year. On on.
Billy Jizz 

Run 1594 / Report Run 1593

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Run 1594



August 7, 2013
7.30pm
Pagoda at junction of Chuk Yau Road and San Tin Highway (about 400m north of Fairview Park roundabout)
Hare: Monkey Shit

Next hare: Dingaling, August 14

The hareline


Run 1593
A Kowloon Kanter
By Tangerine Dream



With a certain degee of stress and the overwhelming feeling with vast arrivals of up to 60 runners (having catered for 30 for on-site food), the hares gave a relaxed briefing, at a picturesque pagoda beside an ornate pond…surrounded by hundreds of discarded hashers’ bags and other unmentionable belongings…plus two non-runners: Plod and mate, LSG, who were already into the beers, excusing themselves from the run due to alleged unspecified disabilities/injuries! Typical bobby excuses!

So we trotted out of the park, past the sports centre and up the steps at the rear of Festival Walk. Like a pack of wild lemmings, each followed the other following a well marked trail along roadsides in the direction of Beacon Hill/Lion Rock, whilst noting the significant obelisk landmark of City Uni tower… in case we got lost…and briefly bypassing Motormouth on her return “walk in the park”. 
Bearing in mind our late start, we hastily followed the trail along to some locked service steps, with a gully nicely positioned for any shortcutters wanting to jump the lemming queue to climb the gate. On over, on up the steps, unaided for the first half of the pack, and the second half aided by flower pots to ease the gate climb! It was at this point that Golden Balls decided enuff was enuff and returned to the pagoda with a sore somethingorother! Definitely the other – Ed.

On up to the rope assisted shiggy climb above Dynasty Villas, where the only other soul we saw (apart from Dr. Evil near the finish carrying his sticks like a lost golfer), was new runner, Emma, hurtling past at high speed on her own. Curiously, she arrived at the finish 30 minutes later than us. She needs a hash name…maybe: Delayed or Derailed (?) Glaswegian Express. Plod and LSG were already into the beers, excusing themselves from the run due to alleged unspecified disabilities/injuries! Typical bobby excuses!

So we trotted out of the park, past the sports centre and up the steps at the rear of Festival Walk. Like a pack of wild lemmings, each followed the other following a well marked trail along roadsides in the direction of Beacon Hill/Lion Rock, whilst noting the significant obelisk landmark of City Uni tower… in case we got lost…and briefly bypassing Motormouth on her return “walk in the park”. 
Bearing in mind our late start, we hastily followed the trail along to some locked service steps, with a gully nicely positioned for any shortcutters wanting to jump the lemming queue to climb the gate. On over, on up the steps, unaided for the first half of the pack, and the second half aided by flower pots to ease the gate climb! It was at this point that Golden Balls decided enuff was enuff and returned to the pagoda with a sore somethingorother! Definitely the other – Ed.

On up to the rope assisted shiggy climb above Dynasty Villas, where the only other soul we saw (apart from Dr. Evil near the finish carrying his sticks like a lost golfer), was new runner, Emma, hurtling past at high speed on her own. Curiously, she arrived at the finish 30 minutes later than us. She needs a hash name…maybe: Delayed or Derailed (?) Glaswegian Express.

And so we bastardise the Little Sai Wan newsletter, as we insert some truths and twists of our own.


SHORT…by @nal Invitation, Who only won the hash cos Tangerine Dream sent him to check a nice track, whilst she checked the higway, but he never called trail!!!Actually it ended up just under a 6km short run! 1hour14mins.
“I WON THE HASH! Best LSWH3 trail EVER. Last 3 Checks were pretty tricky (and none were solved by Anal Invitation, but it’s all about solving the last one, which I only did because Tangerine Dream saw a well hidden set of service steps and suggested checking down there whilst she checked the highway!! Then it was a case of trying to keep a gap between me and the encroaching Tangerine Dream of N2TH3. Somehow Gary Glitter managed to get infront of her, (probably cos he never called her back either) leaving me a clear path to the ticker tape!”

MEDIUM…by Dr. Evil
“A Gispert memorial Hash and a bloody good hash it was. Doing the M optional trail. Never did an M trail, never heard about an M trail before. Some sort of a Middle thing between an L for Long run and W for Walkers. Not W for Wimps, mind you. No Wimps Rambo trails on this Gispert’s memorial Hash…
Anyway, I got to the L-M split that many missed, due to a shortcut. So did I but something told me to go back and rightly so. The M trail was going the other way.
The M-L split came after a long sweaty, shiggy climb followed by a tricky shiggy downhill. The M trail took me along the Macclehose, backward toward Beacon Hill, and to begin with, on a nice on flat trail populated by a multitude of big black grasshoppers.
I was just walking leisurely along the M, all by myself like a big boy, eventually catching up with the front-runners, completely lost, at a Check after the rejoin. That was one cool M on a hot Wednesday night!”

 LONG…by Macau Drunk
“As promised, the L route was a 3k loop for runners to stretch their legs. It was a great trail – the Eagles Nest Family Trail – that looped around to the rejoin up the steps up to Leung Yan Rd.  Down the road, then the steps down to the reservoir road, before going onto Lung Cheung Rd….. Not this time though. The trail doubled back into the shiggy bringing the Ss, Ms and Ls together down the trail to the check on the other side of the overpass on Lung Cheung Rd.
Local knowledge took us down the riverbed trail emerging quite close to the out trail and One Beacon Hill. Right then left on home into the park – unless you missed the big flour T and decided to do the entire run again!! We saw Herr Pisser and co. at 10pm!”

Unlike some (who may have been having mountain hash sex)) we safely returned to the start/finish…guided by City U Obelisk…and not least MTR signs.  The ON-IN saw us following a slippery narrow nullah or climbing slippery rocks, on down to the main road to play ‘hoppit’ across 4 lanes of traffic before indulging in Ebeneezer’s Kebabs and salad washed down with some liquid amber.
Our overall impressions were of a good well Mark(ed) HH run, ably assisted by Shiggy Gaga and caterer/helper Virgin Mary. Setting a triple route midweek is not easy and with almost 60 runners, reminded me of past years in the 1990s when LSWH3 numbers sometimes swelled to 80 runners. On site catering is always difficult to estimate. Well done hares!

T-shirts (Gispert’s birthday) were designed V neck for the ladies, round neck for men. Contact Plod if you want one. He’s wearing one below. N2TH3 colours, “dry-fit” material.

Ed’s notion: We’ll invite these softy islanders “oop north” some time. And that time is my birthday run, November 13. 
Indy humiliates the N2TH3



They had 10 times more runners than us – but we know quality trumps quantity. Or do we?


The gorgeous co-hare Shiggy Gaga with some twat