Run 1602, October 2, 2013
Gratification
By Indy
The NNT mob are a very welcoming hash indeedy! Piss Perfect in his Hong Kong days (and even now!) loved to regale us with stories about hashing with the Northern NT/Shek Kong mob …I think the words were “wild”, “don’t give a flying f**k about politics” and “just love to take the piss as well as drink it!” (I think he meant that figuratively but after the Kam Tin run of the previous week when there was no piss and only six cans of Eunuch’s non- alcoholic beer to drink…who knows!)So having been made persona non gratis at our very own Little Sai Wan hash, for reasons ranging from “no personal invite” to “missing the boat list”….(yes, it was a boat hash!), three of the family – Lost In Space, Octopussy and myself – were delighted to take the opportunity to run with the real hard corps hash of the Northern New Territories, where rumour has it that they eat razor blades for brekkie on the day of the run!…even if we did have to venture to the remote hashing territory of Route Twisk, far removed from our normal night hashing areas!
Worried we would be late for the run starting at the Chuen Lung barbecue pits, which was supposed to start at 7.30pm, we three musketeers met up at Tsuen Wan MTR at 7pm and found a taxi driver who naturally could not speak English (being in the wild west environs!). Fortunately Velcro Lips had emailed the run info and hare’s contact details, so very professionally a map was emailed and printed…thanks Luk Sup Gow!, and we got to the run site at 7.15…to be greeted by…nobody!!
This naturally made us a tad nervous and we did not like to get out of the taxi in case we were mugged on this lonely road…. but then we espied a check outside the “park” entrance and knew we were in the right area…but had all the pack gone?
I had the hare’s two mobile numbers, so armed with those I duly rang. No connection…no answer…so would a smoke signal work?
In the meantime, I got a phone call from Tangerine Dream to ask where I was and where was the hash? Well she was apparently at Kam Tin with the beer, unlike last week’s NNT run I hasten to add, but unfortunately for her this week’s location was not Kam Tin!
Finally a car appeared and yes it was the hares, with Beer Tits literally oozing sausages everywhere. A few more – hashers, not snags – dribbled in: Mango, Salesman, One Eyed Jack, Dingaling, G-Spot (minus Velcro!) and Eunuch.
Tangerine Dream and Ginger Moon did make it to Route Twisk to deliver the beer, but did not stay for the run…what fab service! We were then given the “complicated” run instructions. “The checks are checks, they will be teed if the wrong way. I’ve taken a half day off today to set the run, so the trail will be very well-laid” and then the pack was off!
Down the road to a check….across the road and up a gravelly dirt road…and this was just the beginning of the dirt trails. As I had not hashed in this exact area before, I had no idea where we were! One very memorable section included the unpredictable 5-way check that bamboozled the pack for 20 minutes. Our very own Octopussy was happily leaping around everywhere searching for trail, uphill then downhill…hashers were all over the place with Dingaling and G-Spot tearing in from different directions…Mango cursing the hare and saying “Why have a 5-way check? We can’t even count past 4!” One Eyed Jack turning himself inside and out, Eunuch going up and down, down and up trails with his usual boyish enthusiasm…from memory no trails had been marked off.
Having thought that all trails had been covered but one, off we went with Salesman, sure were were on a winner. I Iearnt new expressions like “There are going to be many on the angry bus!” (this hash even speaks another language) as the elusive trail remained even more mysterious to find. The angry bus was getting even angrier!
Suddenly there was a shout of victory and trail was claimed. As it was, Mango was right about the NNT mathematics ability…there was a deceptive fifth trail (or was that a sixth?) that nobody had gone down…..(It actually transpired that Lost In Space had gone down that trail, but being a “spoiled city hasher”, did not go far enough…)
After all that excitement, it was trail running intertwined with rocks…Octopussy was in her element in this virgin territory, so we did not see her for dust after that! With G-Spot and Lost In Space for company i was not going to push my luck over the rocks and end up in a hospital shack like I did the last time I had run on a hash with G-Spot in the Philippines. Then it was onto the catchwater, which I recognised as part of the Full Mountain Marathon King of the Hills trail, across the road and up steps to a village area where Captain Pubic Hare and I had set a Free China Hash many many moons ago, then a very pleasant run on home through farmland, streams and Chuen Lung village.
Well done the hares for setting a very interesting run, for we LSW folks in “foreign territory”, and with lots of camaraderie on trail…AND we had finished the whole trail…apparently a feat in itself compared to the previous week’s run!Hash cash was collected with Eunuch declaring that yours truly should be made to pay the male fee of $50 with all the beer I would consume! The female fee was a bargain at $20, which included snags, mushies and buns that were cooked on the barbecue while the circle entertained all. “Octopus Card”, as she became known, got a few downdowns herself for her enthusiasm and Lost In Space did not get one for…being lost! So all in all a great night.
Thanks to NNT hash for being such a friendly and humorous bunch and to the GM who was most welcoming and making us persona gratis!
The Different Kinds of Gratification
1. Running gratification
2. Racing gratification
3. Scientific gratification
4. Artistic gratification
5. Serial gratification
6. Baconistic gratification
7. Sexual gratification
8. Unicycle gratification (Eunuch)
Northern New Territories Hash 
A mental image of strumming the bean will have to suffice. We do have standards here, you know.
Good write up from Indy and thanks for that. GB, why was there no mention of self gratification?LSG