Tactical Withdrawal

It was almost a disaster. GM Gunpowder Plod had been preparing it for weeks, hoping to close out his year in office with a triumph. A superb run had been recced, the PTU Officers Mess had been booked and a Police curry ordained for the stalwarts of the Northern New Territories. Then old brittle bones went and broke some bone or other, the latest in an incessant list of osseous afflictions, and there he was on crutches. Again. And so it came to pass that RA Mango Groove sprang to the rescue. After three recces and threats of a 90-minute shiggy special he finally settled on a 45-minute jaunt around the streets of Fanling – probably a good thing given the business to come.

Others in the ranks of the walking wounded were Salesman with his freshly fractured ankle and Golden “chocolate leg” Balls with God knows what excuse this time. A welcome addition to the ranks was Garoupa, who brought along part of the late, great Hughiee’s hash shirt collection to sell, with proceeds going to charity.

PTU in the dark is a weird place. Crop-haired young men with muscles give a smart “Good evening sir!” as you walk past. Fleets of armoured vehicles hunker in the shadows and large squares between barrack buildings hint at drill, pain and exhaustion. For this is where the finest of the finest are trained, honed to taut fitness before being released onto the streets with their blue berets. Did it inhibit N2TH3?

Back at the mess drinks were raided directly from the bar, gratis courtesy of hash funds, while the GM distributed confusing ballot papers that not only required you to vote for a new committee but also to rank the outgoing one on a scale of 1 to 5. These were, of course, irreverently defaced before the company assembled in the dining room for the free curry AGM. Plod read his report giving his highlights of the year. These were:

Date               Run                Location       Hare               Remarks

26 Oct             AGM                 Taipo               OEJ                  Prune-faced old farts on out!

29 Nov            Tag                    Nai Chung      _                       Chaos by RA; GM took over

12 Dec             Pub run           Tai Po               –                        Organized by Stingray

13 Feb             CNY                  Kam Tin           Big Moany      Daylight run

1 May              May Day         Plover Cove      Dingaling        Daylight run

19 May            Cycle trip       Futian                Golden Balls   Weekend to Shekou

10 June           1st run           Frontier             Golden Balls    Frontier closed area – T-Shirt

31 July            Joint run       Kowloon Tong  LSWH3             Gispert memorial – T-Shirt

11 Sept           Away run        Shekou               LSG                   Bars

18 Sept           1600th run    Taipo                  GM                    King’s Belly

Thanks to:  ALL hares for setting trails, all bloggers and especially the Cock of the South

Hare of the Year: Golden Balls (memorable runs and a total of 6 trails)

NOT Hare of the Year: One Hung Lo (No 1. 23 Mins, No 2. “return to start”)

Then the ratings for the outgoing committee were read out. They were predictably nonsensical, with top marks going to Eunuch, who rated Plod at 5 and everybody else at 1 with qualifying comments: gay; poof; fag; dyke; likes bums; wets his pants (himself); lezzah; drag queen.

Finally the moment we’d all been waiting for: the new committee, read out in “reverse” order as is traditional. Posts were ticked off one by one as various hashers bemoaned their fates, or said, “Phew! At least I’m not GM!” Finally the name everybody had been waiting for was announced: Haggis! Actually it wasn’t announced, even though he got more votes than anybody else. A quick pow-wow among the Outgoing resolved that it would be silly to elect as GM a hasher who has never ever run on N2TH3 and is never likely to. So the mantle passed to the hasher with the second-most votes: Salesman! Who looked shocked, but quickly fashioned himself a sort of Klu Klux Klan hood from a plastic bag to show that he’s Queenie now.

The line-up

GM Salesman / GM2 Big Moany

RA Velcro Lips / RA2 Lost At Sea

Cash / Stingray

Beer / Eunuch

Hares / G-Spot

Internets / Cock Of The South

See their portraits here.

Notice

AGM / Run 1607
Wednesday, 6 November, 2013
Officers’ Mess, Police Tactical Unit (PTU), Fanling

Run starts 7.30pm sharp – aim to arrive at 7.15
A to A run, shortish (40 minutes)
Hare: Outgoing RA Mango Groove
Special free “stash” giveaway
After the run there will be a circle during which the new committee will be revealed
Police curry and booze to follow

Hash Cash says: “GM has persuaded me to waive Hash Cash for the AGM. HOWEVER…you should DISCREETLY bring a couple of down down beers with you. OnOn Stingray”

It’s a secure venue and visitors must register in advance, so if you’re going, or thinking about going,make sure you tell outgoing GM Gunpowder Plod in advance: 9307 2041

Directions:
By foot: Train to Fanling railway station, then follow chalk from Exit B (10 minutes).
By car: See map below. Find your way to Pak Wo Road and the roundabout next to Ka Fuk Estate. Take 1st exit (if approaching from south / Wo Hop Shek) or 2nd exit (if approaching from north / Sheung Shui), then turn right immediately. The depot gate is right in front of you. Follow chalk to start at Officers’ Mess. Only cars on the list provided by the GM will be able to enter, so if you’re driving make sure Gunpowder Plod has your licence plate number.

Next run November 13: Golden Balls