A new chapter in the anals of incompetence was written on Wednesday night when five runners managed to go to three separate starting points for the hash.
When hare Tangerine Dream stated that the run would be “from park near my office. same as last time I set it,” it all seemed so simple. When this was followed up by a terse “Kwong Fuk park OK?” and a quick check on the Archives showed that her last run near her office was in April 2013, Run 1578, near the Gili Gulu and just outside Kwong Fuk Bridge Park, the matter was confirmed. And thus the announcement went out. We were later to find out there was good reason for the hare’s uncharacteristically concise emails.
That evening Webbie Golden Balls, languishing at home sick, got a breezy call from the hare. “I’m waiting at the start,” says she, “but there’s nobody here.”
“They should be there by now. Near the Gili Gulu, same as last time, right?”
“Er, no. Tai Po football ground. Didn’t you get my Whatsapp?”
“But I don’t do Whatsapp…” Not quite true. Somehow I’ve got an account that I never use. Don’t tell anyone. Anyway, a quick call to Mango Groove, waiting at the “start” and wondering where the hare was, soon put things right. “I can hear Tangerine Dream on the phone to Eunuch now, so we’ll get ourselves down there,” he says. “I’ll call Stingray and let him know.”
Stingray. One of Tai Po Football Club’s 17 fans. A man who actually – brace yourselves – goes to watch Tai Po play. Stands on the terraces with a scarf and a rattle, bellowing like some Estuary wide boy…oh, wait a minute…well, Stingray, hare on February 26, had sent out a feeler to set his run that day at Tai Po football ground because Tai Po are playing at home that night and he thought we could all go and have the circle on the terraces, doubling the noise level. We don’t know if Tangerine Dream took this as a suggestion for her run and decided in her obliging manner to accommodate him (that doesn’t sound right), but whatever it was she was waiting there with her arm in a sling at the training pitch in Kwong Fuk Park. Meanwhile Stingray went to the other pitch near the railway station. Mango and Eunuch joined Tangerine Dream at the training pitch while Dingaling and One Eyed Jack turned up just after this at Kwong Fuk Bridge Park, the original start, for a possible world record farcical fack-up of 1.67 runners per start location. This is great value folks and has gone down in the anals of ineptitude. Meanwhile Golden Balls had wisely gone to bed.
After half an hour Stingray found the right football pitch and he, Mango and Eunuch set off. When it became clear that the run was going up the Wilson Trail at Lin Au, Stingray said, “You can stick your Wilson Trail up your arse, I’m going back to watch Tai Po,” for indeed his team were playing Hong Kong Football Club at home that night. Meanwhile, One Eyed Jack and Dingaling found trail near Gili Gulu and set out hoping it would eventually lead to the buckets. Dingaling found his way there but One Eyed Jack, citing jet lag and cold (it was 6 degrees C), buggered off home.
Assuming from the sight of Tangerine Dream’s broken arm (rugby injury from the weekend) that it would be a short, concrete jaunt around the houses, Eunuch and Mango Groove were surprised to see the trail go into the rough on the Wilson, and when Mango got back after 70 minutes he said, “Tangerine Dream, you really didn’t have to set the run with a broken arm, you could have cheated and just gone down the pub and told us to do our own run from there. We’d have understood,” to which she replied – listen to this everybody – “Got to do my fair share, haven’t I.”
Amen. And in other news, Tai Po drew with Football Club in a goalless but exciting match (from our football correspondent).
Start: Kwong Fuk Bridge Garden, Tai Po Market near Gili Gulu (see map)
Hare: Tangerine Dream
Hare says: Run will be from park near my office. Same as last time I set it. Cant remember park name. will check. Kung Hei Fat Boy!