Man(go) Lurve

By a special forces correspondent

Oh my gosh…oh my goodness me, what a night. Turning up at “A”, the Wishing Tree, Lam Tsuen around 7.20pm, an unbelievable number of hashers were present. We had the usual dregs you know: Eunuch, Stingray, One Eyed Jack, etc, followed by numerous visitors from all corners of the globe. There was Tooth Fairy from Tai Wai, Big Bonehead from Kam Tin, Dram fresh off the plane from Scotland, Dorias and Warrington from the UK plus mystery hares who were out setting trail. As we patiently waited for the hare the super young and super fit brothers, Dorias and Warrington, entertained us with their account of the Shek Kong Hash run the previous Sunday. Then principal hare Dingaling called us to attention at 7.50pm giving instructions such as “If you get lost don’t come back here…it’s an A to B”. As the usual heckling ensued, Dingaling continued, “There’s a walkers, a wimps and a rambos…the rambos has a small hill”. At this point most of the pack looked across and towards the landscape shouting “Do you mean that small hill or that small hill?” pointing towards Tai To Yan and Cloudy Hill.

Finally we set off, round the back of the village and onto the first check where both Catch Of The Day and Liberace found trail rightwards following the nullah. After some serious front running by Big Bonehead we came upon a check that had the pack bamboozled as everyone headed right and along the road whereas real trail was found further on into what looked to be a dead end but was in fact a nice bit of shiggy. The trail took us out of the lower village exit onto a check where you could either go left up the steps or right down into the subway and back onto Lam Kam Road. At this point the pack of nearly 20 runners suddenly split into four runners who found trail easily in the subway (Eunuch, Tooth Fairy, Dorias and Mango) and the rest who went up the steps on no trail whatsoever. As we came out onto the other side of Lam Kam Road we headed back up for about 500 metres followed by a left into Hang Ha Po village. We had a pretty decent idea where B was and in our usual New Territories fashion at every point where there was even the scent of a hill climb we took it. Eunuch must have run up every possible hill slope in the village, but all the time the trail kept us on the village paths with some clever checks keeping everyone together before the rambos / wimps split. The rambos trail kept us running northwards through a few more checks before bringing us out onto the new road which did have a bit of an incline and was in fact the small hill that the hare had referred to. A final check took us right and back onto Lam Kam Road in front Leafy Glade and then a short sprint to the finish at the Mellors’ residence. It must be noted that Mango, in a show of unlikely and shamefully competitive running, managed to keep up with Dorias who is a British Army officer and more than half his age. Not only this, Mango also made him hold his hand upon crossing the finish line in order to claim the gold medal. Mango has since apologized for his disgraceful behaviour and will now make a special effort to return to his usual SCB ways. The mystery hare was in fact Twanx (with help from Rogan Josh) and at the finish there were even more people.

This weeks scribe counted 30 adults, many children and a dog and all in attendance for the real celebration of the evening: Overdue’s 30th year in Hong Kong. After toasting this occasion with champagne our attention turned towards the circle. Oh, we don’t have a GM!!!…Yes we do!!! Who? …Big Bonehead!!!. Poor Bonehead had only turned up for a quick run with Kimberly before trekking to the UK and now he was to be thrown into the lions’ den of a New Territories Circle…with the biggest turnout since our 1500th run. As Big Bonehead tried to get himself out of doing the circle with all weird and wonderful excuses he was not getting any sympathy from LSG, BJ, Stingray, Golden Balls and Eunuch, who he tried to give this responsibility to. Eventually a circle was formed and Big Bonehead did a super job with the down downs, eventually leaving the circle to run itself with a memorable DD from Liberace who spent the whole day Saturday helping COTD move, he thought it would only take a couple of hours and had another appointment booked for later in the day, but when COTD finished with him he had no energy left for his second job. Liberace simply could not understand how a single woman could have so much to move.

After the circle Ovedue prepared an assortment of food including curry, chips, salami, salad, and bread with tomato and herb toppings. After drinking ourselves silly we decided it was time for bed and headed home to dream of the next chapter in our great history. Excellent run thanks to Dingaling, Twanx, Overdue and Rogan Josh.

Mango’s predilections are further revealed in this transcript of email communications between Mango Groove and Eunuch, who always gives Mango a lift from Hong Lok Yuen to the run.

2 July

Mango: Will you be at HLY tonight?

Eunuch: Yes, I’ll be there with my automobile.

9 July

Mango: Will you be at HLY tonight?

Eunuch: Yes, and Kin will be there too.

16 July

Mango: Will you be at HLY tonight?

Eunuch: No! I shall go straight to the run.

23 July

Mango: I shall go directly to the run tonight!

Eunuch: Oh I see, I let you down that one time and now you don’t want a lift anymore. I shall not forget this.

Mango: Even though you have hurt me and dissed me in the past I will always luv you. But we must move on from this.

Eunuch: I was faking it Bitch!!!