The Saturday Run No. 4

A Kung Kok Revisited

Velcro Lips had set this one before, on a muggy spring night when only five runners turned to go slip-sliding over the greasy trail. It deserved a better audience, and six months later it got one, as almost 20 hashers turned up on a fine autumn afternoon. Silent Partner Screwless had been chucking up as he set the run but was considerate enough not to mark the trail in sick. It was mainly flour, with a little chalk and bog roll, Velcro explained as we set off up the hill.

The first check caught out G-Spot and Golden Balls, who went off up the grassy route to the left. Meanwhile Mango had been doing some pre-run “checking” and led the way up the road to the cup-de-sac, where trail went into the shiggy by way of a mucky culvert and some steps. And stayed there.

I can now only describe what happened in my neck of the woods. Having fluffed the first check I was almost last into the shiggy with only Eunuch behind – but he was helping Travis along and carrying Ruth on his shoulders. A contour bit along another culvert followed and then it was up up up to almost 400 metres. After a while there was G-Spot and One Eyed Jack admiring the view. Then Dram sitting in the shade. Then Victim with his characteristic whimper. Blimey it was hot. Camel was next to appear, heading back down with his stress fracture starting to hurt. As G-Spot clung to my tail we reached the trig point where Plod for some reason was semi naked taking photos. The views were terrific and we stopped to take them in.

Or rather G-Spot did. “Picture?” asked Plod, and he bounded up on to a rock to show off the very latest fashions from Irian Jaya – a sort of nipple on his head.

I was off. Down the defile and up to the second summit, where Shamus O’Pressed and Hoover were trudging back uphill from taking a falsey. The right direction went steeply down some slippery stuff and as Shamus and I braked by grabbing at tree trunks we heard a strangled yelp behind us as Hoover went arse over tit. In front and out of sight there were Ah Duk, Stunt Double, Catch Of The Day, Mango Groove and Inflatadate. It was a long long descent almost to sea level, coming out at the bottom of A Kung Kok Road. As the FRBs tackled that last uphill leg back to the start they sighted Dingaling driving away. He’d got there at 4pm for the 3.01 start. Meanwhile, Plod had gone back down the way he came up, falling over as he did so. Eunuch also went back down the same way but in a somewhat more dignified manner, having carried Ruth to the summit on his shoulders. And down again. Inflatadate was first back (“Entire trail was new to me,”) while Mango came in second following his normal Gurkhaesque descent.

Velcro ran the circle then most of the pack moved on to the Fo Tan pigeon daipaidongs for an extremely boozy meal. Another great Saturday Run.