Run 1696, 3 June 2015, Tai Po Market

Not All The Pies

Moonie Tintin copy
Note the guilty little finger

Moonie and Tintin set this run on a sweltering afternoon, then went to the pub where they were discovered by the GM, who naturally joined them. Not the most auspicious of beginnings. The run started at Yuen Chau Tsai Park just by Island House and on the Sha Tin-Tai Po cycling thoroughfare, and seemed to be some sort of stopping point for cyclists – or perhaps they were just gawping at us. This was the location where, last December during the 12 Hashes of Christmas (organised by Moonie and Tintin), the intrepid pair got the start wrong. As the pack ran past, having started at Kwong Fuk Estate, we passed Moonie and Tintin waiting in the park wondering where everybody was. Slack-jawed amazement turned to mutual recrimination as the ex-squaddies accused each other of the balls-up.

Not this time though. They extricated themselves from The King’s Belly and were at the park ready to welcome the pack. A new face, Noah, had found out about the run from this very blog and had run north from his digs at Chinese University until he bumped into us. Catch Of The Day meanwhile was hopelessly lost. “Where are you?” “At a roundabout.” “OK, what can you see?” “I can see a bus…” We started without her.

The trail itself was a pleasant, if atypical, 8km, weaving its way through the suburbs of Tai Po Market and up to the top of Shan Tong Road. The early leader was Bukkake, who guessed correctly at the first check at the Kwong Fuk Road / Nam Wan Road junction, heading towards the railway station. He was followed by Penile Dementia and Golden Balls while Eunuch, Liberace, Noah, One Eyed Jack and Stingray all charged off north. But Bukkake came unstuck at the next check at the bottom of Shan Tong Road, heading out along the north bank of the nullah as Golden Balls and Penile Dementia found trail on the south bank. Bukkake returned to the check, ignored the nullah and went up to the top of Shan Yin Road. By the time he got back the rest of the pack had disappeared down the nullah and he was way behind at the back. Such is the hash!

Eunuch and Liberace led on the long haul up Shan Tong Road. Noah, who had also got lost somewhere, absolutely steamed up the hill, while Stingray and Golden Balls missed a check and carried on up to the waterworks at the top, where they stupidly decided to circumnavigate the ringfenced facility looking for trail only for the path to disappear. They were left clinging to chicken wire. Eventually they made it back to the check and found trail going up the crazy paving into Tai Po Kau Forest. At a junction they met Catch Of The Day and Bukkake coming up from the other side, having gone wrong at a split. Trail then went up to the top of a hill at about 280 metres and steeply down the other side to the posh houses on Yat Yiu Avenue and out to Tai Po Road. A little bit of messing about on paths and underpasses to cross the highway and railway, then it was the cycle track back to the start for a good summer hash. Atypical for a Northern New Territories run? It was 100 percent hardtop.

Moonie had made good use of the eskies while we were away and was in fine form entertaining our audience. When he invited one poor chap into the circle for a beer, the alarmed cyclist said he didn’t drink. “Well if he doesn’t drink, how does he get drunk?” demanded an indignant Eunuch. The moon shone. Catch Of The Day delivered an “icky” to Noah, who gamely gargled a whole-can down down. Then the beer ran out so we went home. – Golden Balls

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