Run 1702, 15 July 2015, King’s Belly

What A Curry-on!

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I arrived early for the run…I didn’t see any hashers in the King’s Belly (Salesman was lurking in a corner but I overlooked him as he sat quietly feasting on Doritos and guacamole) so I spent 20 minutes having a crafty scout for trail… and didn’t find any trail in any direction.

Perplexed, I returned to the King’s Belly, found Salesman and discovered that Eunuch had dropped his bag off before disappearing to plan a Tai Po holiday for his family. While sinking a swift beer, I speculated with Salesman (who gave the feeble excuse of being too tired and drunk to run that night), who might be the mystery hare?

Penile Dementia arrived next, so that ruled him out. When Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Mango Groove, One Eyed Jack, and Eunuch had all arrived, all denying that they were the mystery hare, enlightenment dawned. Mystery solved. There was no hare. After his “minor” surgery this week, Golden Castrato had failed to hit the high note and persuade someone to be the hare. Moreover, he had begged off joining this week’s run on the grounds that he had to practise his opera until he could make a glass shatter with the pitch of his voice. When he can achieve this feat, this will be the new end to circles, which will now only be over when the fat lady sings.

Mango Groove bravely volunteered to rectify our hare deficit by setting a live trail. One Eyed Jack solemnly pulled out a single stick of French chalk for Mango to mark it. Mo-ah arrived to drag Salesman home so we all trooped off to Liberace’s van (parked far far away) to lock up our bags.

Mango dashed back to the King’s Belly to start the trail while the rest of us returned slowly , only to find Luk Sup Gow sitting there. Aaaaarrrgggg. We could have left our bags at the bar.

We assumed that with a single stick of chalk, Mango’s trail would be short. Maybe 5-10 minutes. How wrong can you be? Mango managed to set us an excellent 4km run in total distance. The first check took us away from Tai Po, under the subway and then unusually left as if we were heading back to the MTR. Another check took us left and upwards towards Shan Tong. At this point Mango realised he was screwed because he only had chalk and the nice trail would have involved some flour. However a check halfway up Shan Tong Road took us right and back down to Wan Tau Tong. A run in along the river, over the road and back through the MTR saw us all back around the 40 minute mark. A quick walk back to Liberace’s van to grab our bags and then back to the King’s Belly for the circle. Must be noted that the entire run was set with a single stick of “magic chalk” kindly donated by One Eyed Jack.

Mango – when you read this, stand up and take a bow. It was a good run.

Circle was short and sweet because we were all hungry for curry. Down downs to the hare for not enough concrete and too much shiggy. Down downs to me for not calling trail when I was the FRB; to Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Mango Groove, Luk Sup Gow, and Eunuch for failing to wear hash gear; to Plod and Liberace for comparing the size of their tits; to Eunuch for failing to plan his family holiday properly (Mong Kok is obviously a much better holiday destination than Tai Po). Finally a special down down to Mango for having a shinier head than me and One Eyed Jack. No down downs to Plod for his soon-to-be-published book because we knew we’d never hear the end of it…

Then off to Shalimar for a well-deserved curry and exceedingly pleasant conversation. One hundred percent attendance at the on-after. Poppadums, samosas and onion bhajis for all. Everybody then chose excellent curry except for Liberace who chose three-day-aged fish. We still had beer left over from the circle so Mango craftily topped up the restaurant’s beer jugs while the waitress pretended not to notice. Mango subtly thanked her by flashing his hairy chest.

Plod and Liberace compared phone profile pics and wallpaper – Plod’s profile pic shows him in his pith helmet and suit in his virile younger days – Liberace’s wallpaper is a selfie of his breasts. Three girls were seated at a nearby table and Penile Dementia, Plod and Liberace had a long debate over which one they each preferred. Predictably, Plod fancied the fatter girl and Liberace fancied the skinny girl. Penile Dementia surprised us all though as it turned out he fancied the one with her back to us all – seems he likes coming up the rear.

Sneaky beer. Tasty food. Convivial company. Lots of laughter. A very, very good night’s hash. – Serbian Spammer Bomber Baron Diver von Mooseheime

(Thinning but not yet bald) Hare:

Mango Groove

Runners:

Serbian Spammer Bomber Baron Diver von Mooseheime

Eunuch

Gunpowder Plod

Liberace

Penile Dementia

One Eyed Jack

Non Runner:

Lok Sup Gow

Curry Eaters:

Everybody

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