Run 1708, 26 August 2015, Ho Pui

You Spin Me Right Round Baby…Right Round….

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The hare this week, Big Bonehead, surprised us all by setting his run not from Noble Park but instead the pleasant village of Ho Pui, so pleasant even the little children said hello to Mango Groove. On arriving, the early hounds Golden Balls and Golden Jelly got the beer buckets ready and located in the village park only to be told that the hare was not staying put and needed to go home for a quick sleep before the circle. Turned out he wanted to get the car home and then come back and neck beer. So the buckets and ice were lugged back to the car and locked in and the key given to Bonehead, who was told to get back before the pack on pain of torture.

The rest of the pack arrived in dribs and drabs – One Eyed Jack, Eunuch, Zadic, Catch Of The Day, Liberace. Serbian Bomber, Velcro Lips, Stingray and Penile Dementia – and after the hare had given instructions we headed off towards the minibus stop in the village, where Golden Balls found trail through the houses and out towards the railway line. After a couple more checks we ended up on the road / cycle track alongside the MTR. Now as we were heading quite happily along the road, Golden Balls promptly declared we shouldn’t keep going straight as it was bound to be a check back. On listening to Golden Balls we crossed the bridge – Serbian Bomber storming into the lead – to see an arrow, which proved Golden Balls was right. However, his proud Nostradamus-like prediction was soon neutralized when we actually came upon a check back at the end of the bridge. Most of the pack ran back to the road but GB once again sniffed out trail down  a parallel track that led us away and out towards the villages. A destitute gwailo was seen slumped against the fence and surrounded by empty tinnies. “On on” we shouted as we hurdled him. At this point Eunuch disappeared, not to be seen until the end of the run, and One Eyed Jack staged a superb shortcut. As we ran out onto the flat village trails a check saw us head up a dirt and boulder track up for the first of a couple of hill climbs, where Golden Balls and Stingray were seen chatting away about washing machines.

The trail continued up to the catchment road and a check that fooled Liberace and Penile Dementia but not Mango, who went right and along the catchment before a second check took us up the second hill where, miraculously, One Eyed Jack was seen.

Back down on the road, Golden Balls and Golden Jelly decided it was a good opportunity to abort trail as they were pretty knackered after a day of swinging sledgehammers. Now Zadic, who was told to beat Golden Balls at all costs (by COTD) decided she must follow the Golden couple and promptly raced Golden Balls back to the bucket, only to complain that the run was too short before doing multiple circuits of the playground. The hare just beat them in and was busy smoking his first beer.

Back on the run… The trail then went straight for a while along some rough track before a check took us right, down the mountain bike trail and onto another check by the reservoir. Liberace and the rest of the pack ran over the bridge and onto a three way check that led us upwards and over Tai Lam Tunnel. After another kilometre of running a check back was encountered that directed us down some hidden steps onto the lower catchment and onto another check back. This took us right and down through some shiggy before a long run in through he piggy smelling area and eventually through the village. Most were back in just over an hour apart from Velcro Lips who ended up with Stingray and had to listen to his story about his washing machine, how he sat and watched it for an hour and how he thinks it would be a brilliant GM in the future.   As usual everyone worried about Serbian Bomber, who was still out on the run after an hour and a half but as usual he managed to find his way back safely, albeit with a mysteriously cracked iPhone.

The circle was called and Stingray was given a few down downs for his washing machine escapade – and prompting G-Spot to say he needed this chap. Eunuch was given a deserved down down for finding a guitar in the ladies toilet and then annoying us by trying to play the out of tune piece of crap – but no down down for being in the ladies toilet in the first place. Catch Of The Day was punished for wanting to take the guitar home “to practise on”. The GM was also given a down down for being the spitting image of the US ambassador to France (according to One Eyed Jack, who habitually cruises the internet for tall blondes). Others down downs included the hare of course and finally Zadic was named Smooth Operator as her name is pronounced Sade. Must be said the hare set an absolutely brilliant run this week, thanks Big Bonehead. – Mango Groove

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