Run 1709, 2 September 2015, Cafeteria Beach

Really…Piss Flaps???

The hare this week was none other than our very own Gilded Bollocks who brought us to the slums of Tseun Mun (aka his neighbourhood). The run started and finished on a beautiful stretch of beach with the fresh smell of rotting fish and public toilets in the air. The wise old hare, knowing that the day after the run was a public holiday decided to pull out all the stops and request that everyone buy 4 dozen beers, ice and crisps thinking everyone would be on the piss. Eleven out of the 196 beers were consumed.

Nonetheless, the pack set off on time and was quickly onto the first check which was sorted without losing a stride. Heading towards the Sam Shing daipaidongs we were confronted with the toughest check of the evening. It appeared that GB was experimenting with a new style of marking which involved just not marking anything, not even a check! After scrambling through the restaurant area we finally found a mark which sent Catch of the Day running down a pier. About half way down was a check back (in case it wasn’t already obvious), but COTD decided to run the end (where it meets the sea) before coming back to inform all of us that “it’s not that way”. Thanks. After endless searching Eunuch managed to sniff out some markings leading Penile Dementia and myself out of the housing estate. Leaving the rest of the pack for dead.

The trail heading in the direction of the Wah Fat park and onto a check sent runners to the top of the hill before hitting a check back. Most runners solved this immediately as the true trail marking was clearly visible when returning down the road, however Liberace decided to not look left and ended up doing an extra 3km trying to solve the check. A quick grind up to the Maclehose and the front pack was cruising. A tricky check sent some runners up a shiggy trail in search of marks. Luckily for the front runners, Penile Dementia was close by with his solar flare headlamp and we were able to see 4km down the road and on on to the next arrow. A set of stairs took us back down to the rambo-wimp split, with rambos looping around Harrow and the last check, where Eunuch opted for the route up into the hills. I went the other way along village tracks and on to the Gold Coast, with a quick sprint up the beach taking us back to the start, were D-Ram had nearly finished all of the eight bags of crisps.

All in all a great run with only two people getting lost. A first-time runner from Japan who is completely unfamiliar with Hong Kong, and Raymondo, some dude who has lived about 200m from the run start for the past 32 years…but still managed to get lost.

While the pack was out on trail, the GM arrived fashionably late and ready with a list of down-downs she had spent two hours typing into her iPhone so she could look tech savvy. As the next day was announced as public holiday, COTD and her comfort man were very quick to let us know the true meaning of the holiday…Japanese victory day. Liberace spoiled us with not one, but two of his lengthy, unfathomable down downs. One ended up with him saying “F@%^ing Guy!” 28 times and blaming Eunuch for something. The other ended up with him calling the GM Jelrous???

On to one of the highlights of the evening. Mango thought it would be a good idea to name the new guy because he’s not from around here and we need to make sure he never comes back. He began the naming by asking the poor bloke his name (which I forget) but COTD was quick to inform us that when translated to English his name means Water Valley, to which Mango immediately belted out “Piss Flaps” (I’m sure he’ll be back). The only thing more disturbing than his name was COTD and Velco circling around him dangling their fingers in front of their crotches screeching “Piss Flaps, Piss Flaps…” (I’m sure he’ll be back). – Gaele Says No

Hare: Golden Balls

Harriers: Gaele Says No, Eunuch, Raymond, Piss Flaps, Penile Dementia, Stingray, Catch Of The Day, Mango Groove, Liberace, Dram

Non-runners: T-Bird, Velcro Lips

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