Jihadi Jim – A Long Run To Freedom

Jihadi Jim Gibson, JJ, terrorist, freedom fighter, executioner and people smuggler was the organizer of choice for the masses of the N2TH3.

His unlikely alliance with veteran peoples’ champion Dram of UNHCR had drawn the hordes of hash refugees in a final chance to escape the calamities of war-torn TaiPo.

It was to be a mass break-out from the Leafy Glade Detention Centre. With so much at stake GM Velcro Lips had enlisted the intrepid Sergeant Mango to lead the party. Mango, ex- Boys Brigade, who had suffered from the sexist ‘Boys In Luton Keep Out’ policy and was known to all as Sergeant BILKO.

JJ made a last minute arrival, avoiding the attraction of immigration officials, then gave crucial instructions and revealed the secret directions of flalk and chour.

On Velcro’s call the migrant swarm headed north. They were to carefully elude the Chung Uk New Tsuen faction, the dreaded c*nts.

The glamorous Valki Talkistrova had been enlisted to attract the reassuring presence of the foreign media. But there was no threatening intervention from locals and a circuitous route to the treacherous Lam Kam Road was reached with only the sacrifice of the new nomad Golden Ball.

Crossing into the barren Ping Long wilderness and with little JJ trail in evidence Father Eunuch was called upon to seek direction from the higher authorities above, and he was not to disappoint, pointing to the burning bush shining a light up on the high-altitude ridge where only the moon made its home. Bilko pushed on, this was no comedy show.

The red lights and pulsating music of the wild frontier town of Lin Au have been a magnet to venturers and hobos over many years but on this night silence was called for. Liberace was both dumbfounded and baffled by this quiet, but the suspicious infiltrating presence of a known local police informant kept the usually exuberant Libs under a cloud of silent introspection.

The barbed wire frontier fences of the feared Water Works and Homeland Security Authority had proved a near impenetrable barrier for JJ and his trusty Dram. Only through a dramatic descent through jungle and around a series of man traps – with every step being a life-threatening game of luck and chance – was the search for a better life maintained.

There are two Immigration barriers to cross. The first at the Tolo Super Highway and the second at the Lam Tsuen River. They are both manned and both under control of the Bad Boy Immigration Triads. It was up to the silky smoothe tongue and persuasive words of one Stingray to clear the way. The migrants slipped by as the Bad Boys slept.

It was ON ON ON now, as the trail was followed and then passed, all was well, all was easy until all was back at Leafy Glade!. Just what had gone wrong ?

The sweeper returned and vast quantities of cash changed hands. Any question of dissent was rapidly quelled by the administration of alcohol and noodles. Awards for gallantry and bravery were given out. These were later reclassified as awards for stupidity. Which just left two questions on the lips of the refugees.