Run 1772, Lo Wu, 26 October

Village People

The Village People, Bock Off and FOYC

The GM really is gay

We gathered on the bridge over Ng Tung River near Lo Wu Correctional Institute: Catch Of The Day, One Eyed Jack, Luk Dim Boon, Liberace, Eunuch, Screw, Screwless and Velcro Lips. Initially absent, the hare Golden Jelly turned up accompanied by a rather flustered looking Golden Balls clutching a bag of flour. The pack was told that the run was not too long as the lovely Golden Jelly was feeling unwell. Unfortunately her co-hare GB had tried to help set the markings but instead had f***ked some of them up, particularly the first very confusing check just metres from the start.

The pack was told to stay together for the first 10 minutes of the run, as during this time we would encounter a group of unfriendly dogs. Off we went, sticks and stones in hand, but – no dogs and no trail to be found! Three checks in GB, running at the head of the pack, exhorted everyone to keep together, but Liberace led Velcro and know-it-all One Eyed Jack up the road heading north as GB indicated to the others to follow him along a dark track. When the “front runners” eventually got back on trail, they found the pack hiding near the prison with torches off, giggling like schoolgirls. It turned out the dog story was just a ruse and we were to run around the perimeter of the prison under CCTV cameras know doubt being monitored for prison breaks. The very last bit of the perimeter track took us into the prison and out past the bewildered guard at the gate, who was not very pleased and told us to Bock Off, the first of many such incidents during the run.

The wimps were directed towards the hills whilst the rambos were directed towards a village where they were told repeatedly to Bock Off by a series of pissed off villagers (the village people). One of them also came to the start of the run to be unpleasant and complain to the lovely GJ about the heinous crime of chalking his village. When GJ suggested that he could join the run – she was told to Bock Off too.

Meanwhile the wimps were told not to mark any of the checks on the hill for the rambos who would be following shortly after. None of the checks were marked but still the rambos figured out the run and soon caught up the wimps. Screw and Screwless meanwhile lay down among the graves… Up the hill we went to the Crest Hill ridge, encountering two bamboo snakes on the way. COTD and the GM were racing each other but as COTD fell in a hole in the shiggy the gallant GM jumped over her and ran on victoriously. Until he got to a check at the old army lookout and as usual didn’t check far enough after initially going the correct way. Down on the bridge the hare could see the lights milling around on the peak, including that of the unfortunate One Eyed Jack who had been directed by Liberace to check down the military road, which he did. A long way down. Eventually, after trundling around the lookout, we eventually found trail where Libs had sworn there was none, an almost weekly occurence, down a nice shiggy path. At the bottom trail led out to the Lo Wu border police post and then down the nullah back to the bridge, where GB had set it across the metal bridge that parallels the road bridge so he could laugh at us as we went by – but only Luk Dim Boon fell for it.

The GM held an hilarious circle as always, punishing all the “f***ng guys” for their misdemeanours. RA2 COTD, who was obviously upset by the rude and angry encounters with the locals in the nearby village that the pack had run through, then took centre stage. She explained how the village people kept appearing around every corner in the village to shout and be rude. As she ranted on about the experience, at each mention of “village people” the pack burst into a chorus of YMCA, complete with arm alphabets, much to the bemusement of the RA.

The down down beer was the remainder of the COTD-and-Screwless-brewed Bock Off from Sunday’s Oktoberfest. The stock had been stored in the fridge at GJ’s family farm in anticipation of the run, but had been sadly depleted by one of the farm workers who was obviously completely barking mad, having necked bottle after bottle of the the treacly black brew.

We said a fond farewell and FOYC to both Screw and Screwless with gallons of Bock Off. The couple enjoyed their send-off but were rather nervous when the GM asked them what day and when they were leaving – particularly as he and his white van were booked to take them to the airport the very next day! – Velcro Lips