Slip Slidin’ Away
Around 17 starters set off from Moonie’s place in Fung Yuen, a number that was doubled by latecomers and non-runners by the time the run was over. Turn left over the bridge was the instruction, and as the pack filed out we wondered what delights the hare would have in store for us on this 1800th run. We wondered, too, what effect the morning’s stormy weather would have on the going.
We didn’t have long to wait. After a brief circuit in the forest, which the back markers ably short cut when they saw the front runners coming back, trail started up a muddy semi-track. Front runner Red Rump inexplicably had his road shoes on and the lack of grip led to him sliding around all over the trail. His skiddies were slicked and enhanced by the rest of the pack so that by the time the backmarkers reached any given point the trail was like an ice rink. This particularly affected Hoover who, after sliding down a slope umpteen times, had to be given a mighty shove up the arse to get her up.
As Victim led Velcro, Hoover and GB through a relatively easy section GB shoved his way to the front to make hay with the trail, only to see Luk Dim Boon running towards him calling trail. Yes, Victim had led his group in a circle. No matter. Trail came out on the steps leading up to Sha Lo Tung, then led down, then off into shiggy on the left, while Liberace charged on down the steps unconcerned, closely followed by Luk Dim Boon. These two rocket scientists shortly arrived back at the start complaining about the shortness of the run.
A section of overgrown grassland with stumbling holes a-plenty followed before trail led through Fung Yuen village and out into the surreal abandoned parkland that fronts the village. A stream crossing and then out to Ting Kok Road. At some point around here, or possibly on the steps, Dram and One Eyed Jack curtailed their trail following and short cut back to the finish.
Trail led towards Tai Po, with the wimps trail turning right through villages back to the finish. The rambos did a long stretch along the road until they came to a check next to a flight of steps and an escalator, where Golden Balls and Catch Of The Day were observed checking in the elevator. They were right! Markings led along a gently undulating concrete path to a patch of hilly woodland crisscrossed with innumerable tracks. Here, GB, Catch Of The Day, Stunt Double, Luk Dim Boon and Dingaling milled around for ages until they found trail leading through some great shiggy and ultimately to a stream bed section, the undoing of the yomping GB. After what seemed like a kilometre but was probably only half that, more muddy trail was broached, including a sheer drop into a stream, stream crossings, and an almost vertical ascent where the hare had chopped steps in the mud – but due to the steepness the steps were almost a metre high! Heaven knows how Stunt Double negotiated them.
A pleasant one-kilometre on home along a gently sloping downhill track led back to the finish for an excellent 1800th run trail.
The committee had decided that rather than spending money on a T-shirt they would lay on some premium beers and a curry from the curry house in Sheung Tsuen. The beer included a 10% alcohol brew that soon had the raucosity at record levels – I’ve never experienced a louder circle, ably led by the GM Serbian Bomber and the RA Luk Dim Boon.
All splendid! – Golden Balls
Hares: Moonie, Ginger Moon
Runners: QT, Victim, Golden Balls, Eunuch, Stunt Double, Dingaling, Dram, Hoover, Bunter, Velcro Lips, Mango Groove, Luk Dim Boon, Liberace, One Eyed Jack, Serbian Bomber, Red Rump, Oranguwank, Cotton Bud, Ben, Penile Dementia … more
Non-runners: Tangerine Dream, Gunpowder Plod, Travis, Desperate Dan, All The Way, Walky Talky, Yummy Mummy, Fartypants, Luk Sup Gow, Motor Mouth, Tight Clit, Beer Tits … more
Sorry my old eyes have failed me. I’m there after all. Sorry scribe.
I’ve been excluded (yet again!) from the recorded runners! I want my money back.