All in the Wrist Action

The Start: A goodly pack of victims turned up for Dram’s latest offering. First to arrive were Plod and Geriatric bringing with them the leftover beer from the 1800 and 1801 runs; all 300 pints of it. Liberace had urged Plod to buy more, so he had, buying Skol for Eunuch (nobody else drinks this crap), Tsing Tao for the masses, alkoholfrei German piss for Dram and some San Mig Light for himself. Then Liberace showed up with yet more Skol and other crap lager as well as the ice, which had Mango Groove moaning that Little Sai Wan would think we were all alcoholics. Why; we should just drink it all before we have the impending joint run with them. Plod and Liberace then loaded all the nice bottled beer into the ice bucket leaving the cans aside and everyone left their bags in Plod’s locked car; more of this later.

The venue was a first; a gloomy construction site surrounding a forlorn shelter where the pack assembled to find Gaelic script scrawled in chalk on a bench giving explicit instructions on the run. “Out re-setting. Wild dogs on trail; speak softly and carry a big stick!” Once this was deciphered, there being no sign of the GM, RA Luk Dim Boon took charge and we were off at 1935hrs.

The Trail: As there was an arrow in the shelter pointing left into the construction site, Moonie and Eunuch got tangled up in a homo heap while trying to climb through the hoarding first. The rest of the pack, averting their eyes, took the more obvious route out. Up the hill into the country park …. but NO!!! Trail went up the road towards Sha Tin and the park up on the left-hand side.

First Check at Tai Po Kau Park. Absolute bedlam as everybody checked, rechecked and triple-checked every bit of trampled grass for sign of trail. After what seemed like an hour, but was in reality 10 minutes of searching, Plod got on his phone where the hare gave us the good news and got us on our way. (It turns out that the local villager probably rubbed out the check and removed the paper markings)

So, down through the park we went to the public toilets at the bottom, and onto another check. Trail went right and around the Lake Egret Nature Park, but some of us (starts whistling a nondescript tune….) went left, knowing full well that the trail went round the lake and back to within 100 metres of the check.

Onto another check and on right towards the highway. Right at the end, under the highway. And right along the cycle path. Into a small dead-end park to try and slow us down, then along and back under the highway through the subway.

Along past the MTR Tai Po Kau Clubhouse and up the road back to Tai Po Road. Right onto a Check, left over the crossing and up the back of Chataeu Royal Residential area. This is where we were met by the Hounds of Hell. The pack were quick to pick up sticks n stones and after fighting them off we were up and onto a concrete path that wound up the hill towards Tai Po Kau Country Park.

We wound through and came out onto Yat Yiu Avenue. Left to the end, right along Tai Po Road and back to the buckets. Good run if a tadge damp!!!

Plod, meanwhile, was soon at the back and reached the bottom of the hill with not a soul in sight or hearing, and no checks marked. He ignored a couple of telephone calls, correctly believing that they were from the FRBs at the finish trying to get their bags out of his car and find the bottle opener (which he was wearing around his neck – sweet revenge).

The Circle: First priority was getting the beer open in light of Plod’s malicious deed. The construction site fence, garbage bins and chopsticks were employed creatively in this function, while Bukkake set up shop trying to flog his newly self-published books: a guide to basic multiplication for tiny tots entitled Sevens and a memoir, Confessions of a Hong Kong Naturist, complete with risque photos of himself cavorting in the wild.

Down downs included: Liberace for trying to climb into the building site, because that was literally where the marking was pointing!; Mango did Plod for the enormous amount of beer that was on show. He compared it to the Kowloon Hash on Monday where there were twice as many runners and half as much beer. But hey …. gay Kowloon Hash!!; Bukkake for a book signing function going on in the corner of the pagoda; Luk Dim Boon for trying to protect Catch Of The Day’s honour and saying Moonie’s arse should stay under wraps; Golden Balls – short-cutting BASTARD!!! (whats new?); Saleman – latecomer; Moonie for causing confusion at the first Check!! (But Plod went down there first!!! …. “Honest M’Lud”); can’t remember any more! ON ON! – Moonie, Gunpowder Plod

Present: Dram, Mango Groove, Eunuch, QT, Catch Of The Day, Golden Balls, Bukkake, Gunpowder Plod, One Eyed Jack, Luk Dim Boon, Moonie