Run 1835, 29 November, Kowloon Tong

Plod Remembers 1967

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There is an oft used expression in military officer performance reports: “His men will follow him anywhere – if only to discover how he’ll cock things up.” This is the only explanation I can think of for the large turnout for Plod’s special A to B run from True Light Lane (2 Corinthians 4:6 For God, who said, “Let light shine out of darkness…” NOT his arse as oft misquoted!) next to Kowloon Tong MTR.

Here the faithful but misguided loaded their bags into Plod’s car along with the injured Dram and after the usual Plod briefing about stolen HK Police barrier tape and bits of string, they were off.

Despite Plod’s directions to run straight through the park (mindful of Gestapo removal of hash markings), the pack screwed around in the park for a while upsetting canoodlers (apparently including 9 Ignorant Cocks taking Guttermouth out for a slapitupanddown dinner of M&S sandwiches – Plod) (not to be confused with dragonboaters who generally ALL get wet…) before finding a check at the top near the squash centre.

The pack was brought back together here until the cunningly hidden trail at the back of the courts was discovered leading up to Cornwall Street and another check. The trail then led into and around Shek Kip Mei Park (no canoodlers here, only frustrated gropers and muggers) and a check leading down some steep steps to a main road. Trail led 500m up this road to another check leading left into a lane and then on a dark and misleading loop not for the timid or tremulous (Penile Dementia and Radio 1?) back to further up the lane and another check.

From here a path led around the fenced Shek Kip Mei hilltop reservoir. Lesser hash markings were observed here, leading the opposite direction which Stingray, Mango Groove, One Eyed Jack, PD and Liberace may have recognised from a feeble Monday night joint run) but that did not detract from the joy of rope assisted climbing and swinging until a small dark park at the hilltop was reached with the lights of Sham Shui Po and beyond twinkling far below. (If there were canoodlers here, they were well hidden and stifling their heavy breathing.)

Another check and then the pack, mostly still together with Velcro Lipsacting as rear-gunner, starting descending the many steps. Dram and Plod reported later that the torch lights appeared in a string like UFOs, greatly alarming the local natives who buggered  off screaming, leaving the two geriatrics alone on a bench with a terrified teenager (terrified of being abused by the two old codgers, not any aliens alighting from their space ships).

In this Berwick Street Park, a solemn toast or two of Jack Daniels or plonko rosso was drunk by the pack to commemorate the stabbing death and revolver robbery of PC SIT Chun-hung of the Royal Hong Kong Police 50 years ago to the day in the vicinity of the park. He was apparently the 9th of 10 police murders during the 1967 Leftist Disturbances. RIP.

Then it was on on down Berwick Street, scattering the SSP hoards, and to a check at the bottom of a thickly wooded hill. The trail then led up and around and over and down via three or more checks on unlit trails large and small, causing QT to tumble but, unperturbed, to trundle on trumpeting loudly.

The trail eventually emerged at the back of the Police Club at the top end of Sai Yeung Choi Street, the pack still together although depleted by the desertion after the libation stop of short-cutters Golden Balls and Velcro Lips. Velcro was last of all on home after managing to get lost/go shopping in Sham Shui Po.

Here Plod, Dram, Eunuch and Golden Jelly had set up a rickety bar made of discarded junk on trestles incorporating Jack Daniels, plonko rosso, cheese, German ale and a dark German beer called Cockshootster in casks from U Select – all three were eventually consumed.

On-on-on was at a Sichuan food dai pai dong in Fuk Wa Street (much fuk wa going on…)

Hare: Gunpowder Plod

Runners: Creme Brulee, Velcro Lips, Radio 1, Back to the Future, Liberace, Stingray, Golden Balls, Vibrator, Mango Groove, Penile Dementia, QT, One Eyed Jack

Non-Runners: Golden Jelly, Dram, Eunuch

Report by Anonymous Mystery Pen