E-Venn-tful Outing

Controversy reigned at Saturday Run No. 17 as hashers returned from the trail with vastly differing comments on the quality of the run.

“Crap – too short!” announced the incensed Dingaling.

“Crap – illegal markings!” announced the enraged BJ.

“Crap – foolish run!” announced the apoplectic Liberace.

Others were of polar opposite views.

“Great trail – just the right length!” enthused Eunuch.

“Great trail – beautiful!” gushed Oranguwank.

Great trail – superb markings!” raved Mango Groove.

Which just goes to show something or other but I’m buggered if I know what. Perhaps the Hash Venn diagram above can throw some light on the altercation; clearly Liberace belongs in the central field.

Hare Golden Balls had promised a shorter variant of the Free China run he’d set with Gaelle Says No in February, and he wasn’t kidding, with bragging rights going to Stunt Double, who returned in 50 minutes. He was closely followed in by Eunuch, Oranguwank and Dingaling before the three disgruntled hashers started filing in. What went wrong?

Trail left the start at a Kwu Ling Ling Ying Public School on a beautiful afternoon more akin to autumn than March and led out around fields to the north, where Victim solved the first check. After a short forest section trail emerged on Lin Ma Hang Road at the River Ganges Pumping Station, where trail led briefly east to the second check. Runners looked every which way but no trail was to be found. It was at this point that an indignant Gunpowder Plod returned to the start along the road, followed by strollers T-Bird and Electrolux. However Plod was soon regruntled with instructions from the hare on how to get back on trail by short-cutting. Meanwhile, back on Lin Ma Hang Road Liberace eventually solved the check by returning the 30 metres to the pumping station and heading in the opposite direction, i.e., 180 degrees away from the check, which was a “backward” check oft used by Free China hares to sow confusion. The legality of this check was debated for the rest of the afternoon.

From here trail led up an old police road to a Macintosh fort and thence along a ridge, some of it recently burned. Towards the end of this ridge was a hazard the hare had warned about: coming downhill from the trig point a sudden left turn on the edge of a cliff. “S” for “slow” markings on the ground warned people to slow down or walk or else they would run straight over the cliff…there were no casualties.

Crossing a concrete path trail went up steeply on a fixed rope to another top, then dropped down to the south and an overgrown trail leading to the R/W split. From here, the Rambo trail threw a short loop up the dirt bike tracks and back round to rejoin the wimps for a pleasant run home on dirt tracks.

The circle was followed by an on-on at Luen Wo Hui. – Cock of Space

Hare: Golden Balls

Runners: Antiseptic, Velcro Lips, Catch Of The Day, Dram, Liberace, Luk Dim Boon, Stunt Double, Hoover, Electrolux, BJ, Gunpowder Plod, Mango Groove, Golden Jelly, Oranguwank, Eunuch, T-Bird, Dingaling, Victim

Non-runners: Overdue, Eunuch’s kids

Two Kings

“The trail is not suitable for cripples!” said hare Dingaling of his run near Wu Kau Tang, but this didn’t deter Catch Of The Day, on crutches after hip surgery, who tackled the trail complete with its fixed ropes. But if the redoubtable COTD could be forgiven for taking forever to finish the trail, what of the two Kings – Stingray and Serbian Bomber – who turned up at the finish – in a car – after two-plus hours, with the circle almost over?

Starting from the car park the trail went down some steps and along paths to the river where a check back was solved by taking the extremely steep shiggy trail up to the waterfall. From here trail went across the top of the waterfall and along the stone path to Wu Kau Tang. Plod didn’t fancy the steep trail so tried to second-guess the run, getting it completely wrong and arriving back at the start after 20 minutes. Meanwhile trail went along village paths, up and around and down and up through terraces, a beautiful section. At a check on the flanks of Tiu Tang Lung back markers Golden Balls, Golden Jelly and the returnee Mony, aka Bukakke’s wife, decided to cut down to the lights of Bride’s Pool far below for a short cut, while the rest of the pack trooped on up almost to the summit to where Serbian lost his glasses last year and had to be guided off the mountain by GB. Trail then descended to the north and went to the Wu Kau and fire lookout and down to Bride’s Pool Rd for the long run in.

Eunuch was first back but after successfully tackling all the shiggy he managed to roll his ankle on the road 100m from the finish. Back they came in ones and two, including a welcome return by the Bogbrushily refulgent Antiseptic, but where were the two Kings? The fact that the car they arrived in was driven by COTD (who’d left her car at Wu Kau Tang to avoid the road run-in) immediately raised suspicions that they’d tried to short cut and got hopelessly lost. Or perhaps they made like Elvis and Wacko Jacko in the song Two Kings by Burning Hell? – One Eyed Jack

Oh their cabin isn’t small at all, but it’s no northern Neverland
No Graceland in the woods, just a simple home with simple furnishings
Two Kings on two wooden thrones, rocking the porch away
Talking about the old days and working out the details of their comeback tour
 
No, you’ll never see us again
Oh, you never were our real friends
Ergo, you’ll never see us again 

Hare: Dingaling

Runners:  BJ, One Eyed Jack, Serbian Bomber, Stingray, Creme Brulee, Liberace, Mango Groove, Eunuch, Antiseptic, Catch Of The Day, Gunpowder Plod, Mony, Golden Jelly, Golden Balls