The GM Speaks
Merde! I didn’t think about this : with the idea of calling the attendees in French during the circle, I end up writing the report. So you are on for a painful reading, Couille Dorées won’t be able to polish everything.
Hare : Eunuque
Attendees: Jacques Le Borgne, Lèvres Velcro, Couilles Dorées, Gelée d’Or, Cul, Rainure de Mangue, Raie Piquante, Gaël Dit Non, Antiseptique, Liberace, Soixante Neuf, Radio Une, Bombardier Serbe
With some spare time, I stop at the Hong Lok Yuen Pah Kaï for a first necessity shopping. While browsing the wine rack, someone from the other side of the alley, where beers are sitting, shout: “what are you doing here!!”. It is Eunuque, with Antiseptique, filling the bucket and stomping the floor in socks. Yellow T and red face, Eunuque explains: “I set up the trail this afternoon, and it was so hot! There was no shadow up there! “. Nice omen.
The meeting point feels strange: no pagoda or shelter, no car park, but a cross road between a no name road, an alley digging in the dark , filled with cars, and on the other side, shacky warehouses / workshops. And dogs barking around. The bunch gaffer quickly anyway and at 7.28 Eunuque put on some leftover shoes to give us the brief : there would be 2 R/W splits , 1 CB that the SW ( Super Wimps!) would have to go through. And off we go , the direction being the alley digging in the dark. Couilles Dorées, Cul, Gelée d’Or, Raie Piquante are back in the running pack.
Quickly Rainure de Mangue is at the front, getting the checks right through the village along Ma Wat River and calling the troops with a warm, fatherly voice. Probably the 1000th double effect. Until that CB where the troops bunched up, looking for the trail. Once again the call comes from above, comes from Rainure de Mangue , showing the poor lost souls the way with his ray of light. Time to leave the barking dogs behind us and go in the shiggy, up the hill.
Soon enough we go across a grave yard. Some stones are cracking under our step. The moon is full but not quite. Goules, ghosts, vampires and warewolves give us a free pass for this time.
At this moment Gael Dit Non and Rainure de Mangue are leading. Liberace breathing on their heels. But Antiseptique and Radio Une have quietly crafted their way and are finding first the way up at a tricky, unmarked split. While Rainure de Mangue and Gaël Dit Non are exploring the right hand, flat option, Liberace goes for the elevation. He quickly comes back: “There is no marking! It must be to the right.”. Rainure de Mangue and Gaël Dit Non are also coming back, saying : “There is no marking! It must be up.” Everybody is a bit confuse, nobody is paying attention to the two girls calling the trail, up in the distance. Such a bunch of Machoron we are!
Finally Rainure de Mangue is going up and after 5m, launch a triomphant “Trail! You twat!” How familiar.!…
And the trail is going up, up, up. Splitting wimp and rambo. Fucking rambo, endless up, it almost takes me. Liberace is catching on me and drops me like a dirty sock. He joins Rainure de Mangue and both disappear in the distance. I’m panting, breathing shit. I got to pee.
Finally the top is there, I can see in the distance three lights pointing at different direction and hear some confused “R U?”
My luck, I can catch on them if rushing down the shiggy! But it is so tweeted and paved of bad rocks.
After a sharp turn left, written on a large flat rock blocking the way, It can be read : ON UP BITCHES! Thanks for your support Eunuque!
Indeed, 10m above the scripture, Radio Une is going up.
“Hey Radio Une! What are you doing? The trail is going to the right. Come back!”
”Come back down! the trail is going to the right!”
Indeed you only need to be a bitch for 2m and the track is clearly pointing to the right. I wonder what’s in Radio Une mind. Beside , she’s still going up….
“You have to come down”
“I don’t know how to come down.” She says like a cat in a tree. I’m standing on the trail, guiding her with the light. Patiently. Bye bye Liberace, bye bye Rainure de Mangue. Hello Bombardier Serbe who’s closing the gap.
Back in motion again, going down a rocky way , crossing electric lines furiously crackling in the night.
Mean while , Gelée d’Or and Cul are working their way together on a not so wimpy path when Cul crashes heavily, cutting and bruising both legs. Gelée d’Or helps him and puts up with Cul’s pain and struggle all the way to the finish line. It is Gelée d’Or’s 200th run. Chapeau bas Madame! Lèvres Velcro hands you a well deserved silver mug engraved with your achievement. You gambai it without a fuss!
Once the mountain gobbled, a second Rambo is in offer between houses and barking dogs but it feels a bit gay after that mountain epic. And the loop is closing gently with a bit of concrete path. Bombardier Serbe has recorded the track : it is beautifully shaped.
The circle is opened with a lot to say from every quarter on tonight’s run. Thanks to Eunuque craft (easily in the top 5 of my short hash life) and also thanks to the still fresh records braking 1000th Rainure de Mangue run.
Next week run will be set by Soixante Neuf, Année Erotique according to Serge Gainsbourg and Brigitte Bardot.
Post Scriptum : Jacques Le Borgne and Cul , good lads, were wearing a T shirt honouring the rooster. Hashers, take note : the GM do appreciate those little mark of allegiance to his frenchitude. As it is, I gave a lift home to Cul. Poor lad didn’t know that the first necessity shopping, including two perfectly ripe Camembert, was seating in the car for two good hours already. Mixed with sweaty close from a day at work, the stench was,….hm….
Post scriptum 2 : Q should translate by Q, isn’t it. But Q in French sounds like cul, which means ass. No hard feeling here, just trying to add some silliness to this all non-sens thing.. – Creme Brulee