Run 1866, 6 June, Ma On Shan

Rain Stops Play (almost)


Thunderstorms raged prior to Stingray’s run high on Ma On Shan, and the excuses started trickling in. “Can we change the run site?” pleaded Velcro Lips. “Can’t make the run,” said Mango. “Can’t make it either,” echoed QT. “Won’t be able to come – stupid flu,” claimed the GM. “I’m at Science Park – really heavy rain,” simpered Serbian Bomber, while Gaelle Says No countered with “How about the top of Tai Mo Shan? Bet it’s nice up there.”

Thus it was against such a backdrop of craven copping out that the hard core – the really hard core – group of hashers gathered at the barbecue pits of Ma On Shan Tsuen. The RA had done a first class job of stopping the rain. The hare was back, talking about flour, rice and paper, and two stones being an on on, and he couldn’t vouch for anything still being there. Seven hashers set off towards the forbidding ridge to the south, the leaden louring sky.

And immediately got caught out by a hidden check leading to a cheeky path off the road, except Eunuch and Liberace in front, who saw it, solved it, but didn’t bother calling. Pack split already. After five minutes of fruitless toing and froing over the bridge, along the river, the rest of us found trail back just before the bridge. This led to a nice shiggyish section through trees and grass, passing the 240m mine adit, where security bars and construction materials were stashed in what looked like a plan to seal off the mine. If that’s the case, it’s the end of mine hashing.

Trail climbed steeply up from the adit to a road, going past the pagoda where Plod set his epic Saturday run last year, to another shiggy section ending in a chain link fence that we followed to another road, where Geriatric called it a day. By now we’d been out about half an hour. The two front runners were over the hills and far away. One Eyed Jack had done one of his mysterious disappearing acts and Serbian Bomber was within calling distance of Golden Balls and Golden Jelly bringing up the rear.

That all changed after Ma On Shan Tsuen, when we hit The Wall. For those who have never seen it, this is a long (1km?) wall above a ditch that 10 years ago was still runnable but is now a bit of an obstacle course, despite Stingray’s claims to have cut back the worst of the overgrowth. Some sections required you to drop down into the ditch for a stretch and pick your way through the trees before clambering back to the top of the wall. It was great fun, but by the time Golden Jelly and the absurdly uncoordinated Golden Balls emerged onto a mountain trail in open hill country , Serbian Bomber was out of earshot.

There’d been sporadic showers during the run, but now the heavens opened with a vengeance. Ten minutes later the two backmarkers could detect no trail and had no idea where they were. This was because they’d missed a turning and were now climbing again, but assumed trail had been washed out. At the top of a hill they suddenly heard Serbian Bomber calling directly below them – but there was no path straight down, only one leading along the ridge to the north. Following this, they eventually relocated trail, which led out to a road, the road leading up to the barbecue pits and home. Or so they thought.

In fact they were above the barbecue pits. The hare had put no marking at the junction so as not to confuse hashers heading out, but GB and GJ in their wisdom carried gaily – or rather, ploddingly – on upwards away from home, until they reached the pagoda where Plod set his epic Saturday run…by the time they got back to the start it was, shall we say, late.

Golden Jelly: “When the the rain started, we found no trace of trial, only a piece of chalk, we believed the rain washed the flour, rice, paper and even the stone away, end up at the top of a hill, 1 extra km!” To which the rabidly shrill Serbian retorted: “It wasn’t 1 extra km but a 3km shortcut. They came down the north-west side of the hill instead of crossing the hill, going down the south-east side, climbing a spur then descending diagonally down the north-west side!” When asked to prove this (he’s the only NNT hasher that runs with a poncy gps), the telling part of his gps trace had “disappeared” and in its place, a straight line…this was to have ramifications…SB gps

The normal circle chaos ensued and we all went home happy. The last word goes to the hare, responding to the GM’s enquiry about the run: “GM sir. Ne worry yourself pas. Je boire an down down por vous. Je suis maintenant un muchos grande homme francais. Last nuit cest Waterloo all over again. Le englais look forward pour le world cuppa finale contre la france dans prussia. Bon chance.”  – Cock of the South

Hare: Stingray

Runners: Eunuch, Liberace, One Eyed Jack, Serbian Bomber, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Geriatric, Penile Dementia, Gunpowder Plod

Run 1865, 2 June, Sai Kung: The Saturday Run No. 19

Watery End


The cooling sea was the main feature of this run at the tail-end of the hot spell – everybody jumped in off Geriatric’s private waterfront promenade after a shady jaunt up into the Sai Kung hills. Here are a few impressions.

Golden Balls: I started off walking behind Gunpowder Plod and Dram, who went straight along the road towards Pak Tam Chung when we came to a check. I followed them, but behind me Hoover, Golden Jelly, Back To The Future and T-Bird claimed that the check was marked up into the shiggy. Bewildered, I called “Are you?” after the two gents, who simply marched on, shoulders hunched resolutely. I thought I caught a faint echo of what sounded like “we’re going to snort butt”… I threw my lot in with the ladies. But they had disappeared into the shiggy. After some wooded trail I reached the next check alone, with no obvious direction marked, so I opted for the uphill. T! Back down, eventually catching up with and passing the ladies, then the butt snorters. Nice trail apart from the one mile return along the road.

Mango Groove: The rambos took us upwards, a few steps, a little bit flat and then up again. Now on any “normal” day this would have been a simple easy bit of trail, but in 30-degrees-plus heat with the afternoon sun cooking our brains things were already getting tough. Liberace and Eunuch kept calling keeping Stunt Double, BJ, Mango and One Eyed Jack informed of where trail was going. Halfway along the rambos the trail took us down before going straight and onto a check back with real trail leading left. The trail kept going up until finally the long descent down back onto Pak Tam Chung road and on home.

Stunt Double: The run was mostly on nice trails from Pak Tam Chung under shade until we came to the top of a ridge exposing us to the sun, must have been 40 degrees, and then down a trail with fantastic vista of Sai Kung’s sea and islands in the distance. Here’s the run from my watch:

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Notable thing was Liberace running back from a check like a scared cat saying it couldn’t be this way because there were a thousand spider webs, but after checking other ways, trail was where he had come. I was running mostly on my own so not sure anything else that happened or it was the case of the beers after the run 😬

Back To The Future: I was so excited when I was driving to the run because I had never been to Tai Mong Tsai for hiking. Each time I take my car, I drive as carefully as I can, but this time I did kill two birds with one stone of a big big mistake. In the future, absolutely, I will not allow the same situation to replay.

When I arrived at Sai Kung I saw one man standing at the bus stop, then I got out of my car to ask him the direction to Tai Mong Tsai. At the same time, I forgot to turn off my car and hit someone’s car. The driver said: “That is your fault. If you compensate me for my car I will not call the police.” I did not have much choice, because I even forgot to bring my driving licence.


Sausage fest followed. Thanks to Geriatric and his SP SSP for a great afternoon!

Hares: Geriatric, South Side Pushover

Runners: Dram, Stunt Double, Golden Jelly, Hoover, Radio 1, See No Weevil, Eunuch, T Bird, One Eyed Jack, Liberace, Creme Brulee, Gunpowder Plod, Back To The Future, Mango Groove, Dingaling, Golden Balls, Luk Sup Gow, Beer Tits, Phil, BJ

Non-runners: Electrolux, Catch Of The Day, Overdue, June The Suckond (?)

Run 1864, 30 May, Tai Po Market

Night of the Cryptic CBs

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One more steamy hot sweaty evening run in the tropics!

One of the longest hot weather spells in Hong Kong’s history, 12 days approx so far.

I am sure that is why CB delayed the start (Kong Fuk Bridge Garden) until 8pm for the reason that GJ was bringing ice for the beer and had got lost in Tai Po before the start. She stated that she kept gravitating towards the KB.

The trail was called by the hare TD who had just arrived and prevented the pack from short cutting to the first on-on with G’s and DR’s insiders information. The trail basically went upstream to Kam Shek New Village and then up to Lin Au past the noisy dog rescue kennels. E and GSN had decided to jog the uphill section.

Reached a split:

Left: met with a CB on the Wilson Trail.

Right: met with a T.

CB back over to some graves: nothing.

Back further down the road, E and SS (Shit Sniffer or Anal Corpse Shagger or Rub N Tug or See Faat Kwai (Arsehole) or Eddie Darling or Mango) for those unfamiliar with this name) found trail by the Water Supplies Dept fence. So on down we went to eventually find another CB with an arrow crossed out right next to it. E then disappeared and did his own thing, followed by OEJ, Cutie and SS, then by R1 and GJ. They followed some walkers tapes down a lovely bamboo trail until hitting the contour path above the highway. OEJ went left (shorter route) and SS with Cutie went right.

CB and VL followed the crossed out trail for some distance before giving up and heading back up to the road.

Whilst all this was going on, GSN decided to do his own run and ran though the CB and found trail???  And then followed it on down and home.

He was followed by SB and BTTF.

DR and G turned back on the road and returned to the bucket.

Red lantern awards went to CB and VL.

Shit Sniffer was renamed and anointed with some holy water from the ice bucket ( nice and coooool) hahahahaha LOL. What his new name is, I have forgotten, he has so many! Most of the pack were awarded down-downs’s with TD getting a bucket full on behalf of her co-hare M. She must use her teaching skills to exert more control over his errant ways.  – One Eyed Jack

Hares: Tangerine Dream, Moonie

Runners: Creme Brulee, Golden Jelly, Geriatric, Dram, Eunuch, Gaelle Says No, Mango Groove, One Eyed Jack, QT,  Radio 1, Velcro Lips, Serbian Bomber, Back To The Future

Non-runners: Beer Tits, Luk Sup Gow, T Bird

Click on images to enlarge






Run 1863, 23 May, Pak Ngau Shek



Trail went out the back of the village heading west then crossed Lam Kam Road before heading east to Ng Tung Chai. After Ng Tung Chai trail led through the villages and streams, losing trail. At one point the entire pack found themselves on a path, lost, when a charming villager appeared demanding to know what we were doing, swearing at us and threatening to call the police, only shutting up when Golden Jelly told him to call the Lands Department as well. Eventually trail was discovered leading back down to Lam Kam Road, recrossing it, then a long mazy route through the villages past Tai Yeung Che then home. Recovering cripple Penile Dementia sniffed out trail most of the way as front runner, but at Tai Yeung Che he and Liberace decided to try and push a shiggy route along the hillside and ended up finishing last.

Hare: Walky Talky

Runners: Golden Jelly, Penile Dementia, Liberace, Mango Groove, Radio 1, Creme Brulee, One Eyed Jack, Eunuch, Beer Tits (list may be incomplete – please advise)

Non-runners: Luk Sup Gow, Fartypants