Run 1883, 3 October, Luen Wo Hui

Anatomy of a Run


Luen Wo Hui is on the eastern side of Fanling. It reminds me of Kingswood in Bristol: no one cares about  it, it’s hard to navigate, it’s full of wierdos and there’s nowhere to park.

Meeting in a nondescript park complete with an offensive looking tramp  lazing on the floor, the pack slowly assembled together much akin to a bunch of rebellious schoolchildren summoned to a classroom for detention.

Velcro’s usual call for help was received at 7:35 ish, and Mango, the only member of the pack who apparently cares, actually responded to it, and headed out to guide her path. Suddenly said tramp stumbled to his feet and, in an unexpected vomit of coherence, shouted “Listen up for the briefing!” Yes, it was Golden Balls.

“Two rambo loops which come back on themselves,” the hare explained. “So just keep following rambos and everything will be okay?” chirped cockney returnee Stingray. “No, that’s the one thing you shouldn’t do,” an exhausted Goldenballs responded. “Took me three hours to set, I neither know nor care how long it’ll take you…ah, the beer is on ice…” He added, returning to tramp mode.

The run. Lots of running and showing off by people who can run well. Lots of legs moving, breathing and shouting. Here’s what the runners stereotypically do:-

Liberace – running like a headless chicken

Eunuch – I dunno what I do – running like a spastic I guess

Mango Groove – trying to second guess the run whilst getting lost

Creme Brulee – shouting “Fuck ‘ov you Cunt” at random passers-by with baguettes stuffed under his armpits

One Eyed Jack – shortcutting. Angrily.

Radio 1 – running well!

Stingray – doing the Lambeth walk

Serbian Bomber – utilizing that SAS training

Back to the future – keeping Golden Jelly Company

Golden Jelly – keeping Back To The Future company

Gunpowder Plod – magically appearing on the second rambo split directing the traffic like an escaped mentalist

Velcro lips – showing off her new body

QT – bounding along merrily like a pumping automaton occasionally jizzing off big spurts of dribbling speed

Catch Of The Day – still crippled, got pissed, classy

I think that’s everyone.

Contrary to popular consensus, the hare didn’t believe it was a good run, however when the GPS revealed that the route looked like a womans private part, it was decreed that it was a cunt of a run.  – Eunuch

Hare: Golden Balls

Runners: Liberace, Eunuch, Mango Groove, Creme Brulee, One Eyed Jack, Radio 1, Stingray, Serbian Bomber, Back To The Future, Golden Jelly, Gunpowder Plod, Velcro Lips, QT,

Non-runners: Catch Of The Day, Tangerine Dream





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