Report to come (G-Spot)

Hare Catch Of The Day

Runners Gaelle Says No, Canton Clap, Eunuch, Liberace, Creme Brulee, G-Spot, Matt, Golden Balls, Geriatric, One Eyed Jack, Dingaling

Insolvent

A run memorable for an almost unsolvable check about 15 minutes in, turning a short flat summer run into a 2-hour marathon.

Last-minute hare Dram marked trail well out from the parking lot opposite the Duke of Edinburgh Activity Centre near the Wishing Tree, initially heading toward the impeccable public loos where front runners Liberace and Creme Brulee missed a check (possibly because of some ceremony taking place at the temple) and headed off into oblivion. Dingaling and Golden Balls, meanwhile, discovered trail going down to the channelised river and out toward Hong Lok Yuen. Here it dived off trickily, crossing the river and weaving through San Kiu across gardens, then up the long flight of steps to Wai Tau.

Here the lost FRBs caught up, including virgin Matt who had been brought along by CB, and the fun began. The fiendish check had about 10 options and they were all exhaustively checked, especially the ones heading back towards Lam Tsuen. The hare said this was a short run, right?

Nobody could find a sausage.

There actually weren’t any sausages. But somebody missed the most obvious route through the little park where, on the opposite side, a large Dram-sized arrow proclaimed the way. Quite who made this elementary blunder I recall not, except that it was somebody who should have hashed better. So there we were just a few hundred metres from the start as the crow flies and 45 minutes on the clock.

On we soldiered, along the interminable concrete paths of Wai Tau, through the rural-urban sprawl of Tai Hang and on toward the nullahs of Nam Wa Po, one wild goose chase after another. Then, surprise! There was the hare sat in a little shelter near Kwun Yam Temple with a bag of tinnies. Most welcome on a sweltering evening.

Should be a straightforward trail back now. But no. It led us farther north toward Wo Hop Shek and over the railway to Kau Lung Hang. By this time the pack was fracturing significantly, GB heading home along Tai Po Kung Lo, others doing a creative short cut at Hong Lok Yuen and Walky Talky and No Rough Stuff deciding – bewilderingly – that trail would lead into the HLY estate. It actually led to the spaghetti underpass junction at the roundabout and back along Lam Kam Road. It is thought that Golden Jelly and Back To The Future were the only hashers to complete the full trail.

Was there food? I seem to recall so. Good effort by the hare at short notice. — Golden Balls

Hare Dram

Runners Liberace, Creme Brulee, Matt, Dingaling, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Back To The Future, others?

Non runners ??

Ref: HKP SS RN 123456/19

Disorderly Conduct, Noise at Night and Indecent Exposure

Date/Time/ Place of Report: 230010072019 Sheung Shui Division

Informant: CHAN Fat, ID A123245(0) Village Representative, Hok Tau, Tel 2860 0000

Report: Inft reports by phone that between approx 1930 hrs and 2230 hrs on 10 July, an unruly rabble of  gweilos and yellow running dogs assembled at the BBQ pits of Hok Tau and then ran through the organic farms of the valley, opening gates and disturbing peaceful farmers and dogs with cries of “Are U?” and “OnOn” and “Twail!”.

They had also scattered the paths with shredded copies of “A Nerd’s Guide to Hong Kong Tunnels” and “The Joint Declaration”.

This mob were next seen running down Lau Shui Heung Road causing village cyclists, smugglers and green minibus passengers great alarm with their flashing searchlights and loathsome grimaces.

They next greatly disturbed the peaceful market gardeners of Ko Po and Ng Uk Tsuen who were forced to get out of their beds to defend their bak choi crops against the trampling feet of the ghastly foreign intruders.

Some peace was temporarily restored when this cowardly pack were driven into the hills by a 92-year-old villager of Tan Chuk Hang and veteran of the Long March, and his teenage sha pei.

Unfortunately they reappeared in the BBQ pit shelter at about 2030 hrs and proceeded to noisily and drunkenly party and disturb the villagers of Hok Tau Wai with their ribald commentary and raucous laughter.

One old gweilo was observed removing his shorts behind a wall and exposing his ample bottom to the moonlight and the visage of an outraged female village elder hiding in the bushes pleasuring herself.

Action Requested: VR CHAN Fat demands that vigurous police action be taken to identify and seriously prosecute the imperialist offenders

Action Taken: SS Mobile 1 attended scene Code 3 at 2330 hrs.

No suspect persons found.

Informant located who complained that police had woken up the villagers with their siren.

Ambulance called to scene at 2350hrs.

VR CHAN Fat taken to NDH with minor head injury caused by running into PC 1234’s baton which he was waving at mosquitos.

A strange gweilo document was seized in the shelter:

Hare: Dingaling

Pack: One Eyed Jack, Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Serbian Bomber, Salesman, Velcro Lips, Dram, ?

Hangers On: Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, ?, ?

Divisional Commander Action: clearly a case of Misunderstanding. NFA

 

 

 

Protest Too Much

Preface: A Japanese journalist, arriving at the airport to cover the Hong Kong protests, was hijacked by the GM and dragged along to Geriatric’s run, which was totally washed out by downpours. No two runners did the same trail, but the journalist gamely splashed on, carrying his backpack (which got soaked) and even agreed to write a run report. Here it is, courtesy of Google Translate. Thank you, Anonimo-San!

Thank you very much. This time I joined Hash House Harriers (HHH) for the first time, and I learned that there is such a world. With no rain, it runs around the city with loud noises. I was surprised at the sight at first, but it is a good experience to finish. The beer after that was also delicious. The reason I joined this time is an invitation from Kinkoji. I came from Beijing to cover the fugitive ordinance that is causing a stir in Hong Kong, but when I first met with Ms Kin in charge of introducing and interpreting participants in protests, I was drinking beer at the day. A quick glance at “The shoes, jogging shoes? I would not like to participate in the night hike” was called out. When I asked, “Tonight?” “Tonight.” Preparation also became the first participation in the rain in there.

Well, unlike the mountain walk that I had imagined to join, I ran around while following the landmarks. If it asks, it will be a running club with a tradition for over 80 years. I was surprised that there were clubs in Japan and China, and there were 13 clubs in Hong Kong, and they were running around somewhere in Hong Kong every day. When I return to Beijing, I will also look for a club in Beijing.

While wearing a piece of beer with a glass of sweets on the side, the appearance of the gold small pottery explaining HHH was very charming.  – Anonimo-San

Hare Geriatric

Runners Moonie, Eunuch, Liberace, Catch Of The Day, Anonimo-San, Golden Jelly, Velcro Lips, Radio 1, Tangerine Dream, Serbian Bomber, Creme Brulee, One Eyed Jack, others?