Run 1883, 3 October, Luen Wo Hui

Anatomy of a Run


Luen Wo Hui is on the eastern side of Fanling. It reminds me of Kingswood in Bristol: no one cares about  it, it’s hard to navigate, it’s full of wierdos and there’s nowhere to park.

Meeting in a nondescript park complete with an offensive looking tramp  lazing on the floor, the pack slowly assembled together much akin to a bunch of rebellious schoolchildren summoned to a classroom for detention.

Velcro’s usual call for help was received at 7:35 ish, and Mango, the only member of the pack who apparently cares, actually responded to it, and headed out to guide her path. Suddenly said tramp stumbled to his feet and, in an unexpected vomit of coherence, shouted “Listen up for the briefing!” Yes, it was Golden Balls.

“Two rambo loops which come back on themselves,” the hare explained. “So just keep following rambos and everything will be okay?” chirped cockney returnee Stingray. “No, that’s the one thing you shouldn’t do,” an exhausted Goldenballs responded. “Took me three hours to set, I neither know nor care how long it’ll take you…ah, the beer is on ice…” He added, returning to tramp mode.

The run. Lots of running and showing off by people who can run well. Lots of legs moving, breathing and shouting. Here’s what the runners stereotypically do:-

Liberace – running like a headless chicken

Eunuch – I dunno what I do – running like a spastic I guess

Mango Groove – trying to second guess the run whilst getting lost

Creme Brulee – shouting “Fuck ‘ov you Cunt” at random passers-by with baguettes stuffed under his armpits

One Eyed Jack – shortcutting. Angrily.

Radio 1 – running well!

Stingray – doing the Lambeth walk

Serbian Bomber – utilizing that SAS training

Back to the future – keeping Golden Jelly Company

Golden Jelly – keeping Back To The Future company

Gunpowder Plod – magically appearing on the second rambo split directing the traffic like an escaped mentalist

Velcro lips – showing off her new body

QT – bounding along merrily like a pumping automaton occasionally jizzing off big spurts of dribbling speed

Catch Of The Day – still crippled, got pissed, classy

I think that’s everyone.

Contrary to popular consensus, the hare didn’t believe it was a good run, however when the GPS revealed that the route looked like a womans private part, it was decreed that it was a cunt of a run.  – Eunuch

Hare: Golden Balls

Runners: Liberace, Eunuch, Mango Groove, Creme Brulee, One Eyed Jack, Radio 1, Stingray, Serbian Bomber, Back To The Future, Golden Jelly, Gunpowder Plod, Velcro Lips, QT,

Non-runners: Catch Of The Day, Tangerine Dream





Run 1880, 12 September, Tsuen Wan

Life on a Footbridge


If it’s early September it’s time for a run at Tsuen Wan, or more accurately, Catch Of The Day’s annual Nina Tower escapade. Despite having her leg in a cage didn’t deter the hare from setting a good run (apparently) with a new shiggy section.

It was a run of two halves but I can only report on the first half, where I got lost. Trail made extensive use of the overhead pedestrian footbridge system to get out of Tsuen Wan, but as the hare had set it first thing in the morning a lot of the markings had been rubbed away by the huddled crowds shuffling to and from their catatonia-inducing employments. I mean, there was one bit of footbridge at a shopping centre where nobody could find trail. Finally I went right and kept going for half a mile until I saw a dirty great arrow pointing down some steps to the street. Trail! I jogged along the road in the gleeful delight you get when you know you’re the only one on trail and nobody can catch you, until I went up some steps to find myself where I’d started at the shopping centre. Doh!

Of course nobody else was around, so I went left for ages and ages until it was more than obvious there was no trail. By this point I’d been on footbridges for half an hour. It put me in mind of a recent SCMP article on homeless types headlined “Life on a Footbridge”. Then I came to another footbridge previously checked by Eunuch, who’d come back saying no trail. What did I have to lose? I crossed it into a park and found trail. And No Rough Stuff, who decided to head back.

Up some steps onto a road, a check, nothing uphill, nothing down the steps, nothing down the road…I gave up and went back to the start, where most had already finished. It seems trail from that last check was over the road and into the shiggy. Which was apparently good. Oh well. Last to get home was Mango Groove who was mercilessly taunted by the pack for being a big girl’s blouse. The usual uniform of bow tie and no shirt was sported by most for the circle, and thankfully there was no repeat of the Eric incident.  – Golden Balls 

Hare: Catch Of The Day

Runners: Back To The Future, Golden Jelly, Mango Groove, Golden Balls,Eunuch, Crash Test Dummy, Liberace, One Eyed Jack, No Rough Stuff, Burning Lust

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