Run 1925, 26 June, Tan Cheung

The Snail and the Hare


It was a night when my chest seemed to be broken. It doesn’t mean “I’m going to have a big chest and a shirt torn”, and although I’ve been away from selling pearls for two weeks, my feet are recovering day by day and “I want to run fast” every day I hurried to me. It was an exciting night that I might be able to do a quick jog on the mountain path without using crutches.

I was almost certain to get rid of it, and I did not want to keep everyone waiting, so I headed to the starting point early. The starting point was at Plod’s house. It takes 45 minutes by car from home. I told myself not to drink as much as possible. Apart from listening to what I say. Arrived after 7 o’clock. When I pushed my car into the vacant parking space, Eunuch already stood barefoot on the side.

“Hello Catch Of The Day” Eunuch, a classic in short shorts on a black tank top, waved to me. He shakes his hand even if I am near 1m away.

Velcro Lips and Gunpowder Plod appeared from the roof. Plod didn’t want me to go. “There are no wimps. The road is longer than 5 kilometres. I hope you walk here and come back here.”

I started by saying, “I would not come here if I was going to take a walk”. I could leave 20 minutes earlier than everyone else. Unfortunately I made a mistake on most check points. Most of the check points for this time were road choices, though they were Plod’s, who liked moths. I went in 3 directions at the check point in front of the parking lot but I could not find anything. The voice of the infamous short cut guy (One Eyed Jack? – Ed) was heard from behind when I was serious. I cried “Are you? Are you?” In front of the check point even though I did not see it. Even if you are the first runner, who are you asking, “Are you? Are you?” And he went out into the parking lot. If he saw him not coming back, he would probably find a white powder. I also returned my bag and returned to the parking lot. French and Serbia wines ran from the top of the hill.

After that, about 30 checks were placed everywhere. The course continued to the seaside park across the main road. There are no mountains or bushes in this area, so I had to make a short cut from the main road to the climb road. I came to the top from Bill, but I took some time to check. There were a lot of courses if there were many checks on the way back and forth. There was still a check as to say this. After all, Eunuch appeared, and sometime OEJ and Velcro also appeared in front of the slope.

The road was estimated to be 3 kilometres, but I sweated a lot after a long time. While climbing the last slope, I threw down a lot of small snails, and I felt disgust with the words, “I made a bad word, Minamiu Amida Buddha”, but when I arrived on the roof I saw delicious sausages. I entered and I forgot the snail thing in no time.

Plod makes love at first sight to a Hong Kong woman walking on the road, and calls by car “Let’s go home,” and the woman who went to the movie the next day watch TV on the second floor. It was About 40 movie CDs were placed on the table, saying that GB is “Only a masterpiece, bring it home, like it”. The top of the three kittens looked at the cover. What is this? “Oh, I’m proudly proud that this is a great Pussy.”

The last runner Gerry finally arrived when the story of the story was exhausted.

Thank you Back To The Future, and Plod. Beer was also injected into the blood vessels moderately, and looking at the artificial satellite floating in the night sky, romantically “Mars, wood, Pluto” ended. — Catch Of The Day

Hares Gunpowder Plod, Back To The future

Runners One Eyed Jack, Liberace, Velcro Lips, Eunuch, Serbian Bomber, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Geriatric, Creme Brulee

Non-runners Guttermouth, 9 Ignorant Cocks

Run 1924, June 19, Shui Tau

Roughage to the Rescue

Rough stuff

About a dozen runners turned up, mostly in cars at the familiar start near the ancient lady / Bin Mo bridge to experience a trail by a virgin hare (at least for N2TH3), perhaps expecting another One Hung Lo special.

The hare had selected the pagoda with the most mosquitoes, which had the runners itching to go, leaving the hare to search the car park for a late-arriving and lost Back To The Future (or was it Radio 1?). Golden Balls was also a late arrival but was persuaded by a lounging Gunpowder “I already did a walk” Plod to catch up.

The trail followed a familiar route via a couple of open checks towards the hills, which kept the pack more or less together until the trail hit the track near the model plane aerodrome / back seat bonkadrome.

The trail led up through shiggy to another check which led the pack down to the track again and then via another couple of checks and eventually to a long check back to a muddy lake. Back again and around another lake and then up a shiggy track through a thicket (where the hare had an encounter with a ginormous pack of wild boars but which were not seen by the pack).

Then it was down through some graves and more checks on some semi-shiggy paths and finally onto a concrete path winding between market gardens. A couple more checks and then onto a long run in along  Chi Ho Road and back past a graveyard of London taxis and Rolls Royces and home.

First back was Moonie followed by Liberace, Mango Groove, One Eyed Jack, Eunuch and Creme Brulee. Last home was Geriatric.

A rowdy circle was then held (during which the hare revealed that she had a little help from Plod) and the hare’s delicious curry was consumed.  – Mystery Pen

Hares No Rough Stuff with Gunpowder Plod

Runners One Eyed Jack, Liberace, Velcro Lips, Eunuch, Serbian Bomber, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Geriatric, Creme Brulee, Mango Groove, Moonie, Radio 1, Back To The Future

Non-runners ??

We’re Back!


Your webchappy has been trotting. Not to the loo with the screaming shits but to foreign parts, for several weeks. During this time, some runs took place which have all gone unreported. For the record, here they are:

1914 — 24 April — Hok Tau — Penile Dementia

1915 — 1 May — Chuen Lung — Radio 1

1916 — 8 May — ? — Green Head Penis

1917 — 11 May — Stanley — Velcro Lips (Saturday Run No. 22)

1918 — 15 May — ? — Liberace

1919 — 22 May — ? — Mango Groove

1920 — 29 May — ? — Creme Brulee

1921 — 1 June — Kwai Chung — Catch Of The Day (Saturday Run No. 23)

1922 — 5 June — Chow Tin — Catch Of The Day

1923 — 12 June — Ping Yeung — Dingaling

Run 1913, 17 April, Yuen Long

Strange Encounters


Swearing at campus I run down the hill to the MTR. The school buses always decide to take a half-hour break just when you need them. Getting to Shatin I take the bus assuming I will be setting off at least half an hour after everyone. Dashing into the park – to my surprise we still have not started running. Liberace is lost as usual, struggling to find the starting location, but we set off running without him. Stripping into my running clothes, I set off quickly, catching up with Golden Balls and Stingray. However I quickly realise I’ve put my shorts on the wrong way. Stopping, hiding from One Eyed Jack’s creepy stares, I reverse my shorts. Clothes in the right direction, the running commences in earnest.

Following the nullah on the right hand side we come across a check. Going left I hear what I can only describe as the most vicious canine that ever existed. I ask Stingray to come check with me. He quickly pushes No Rough Stuff under the bus and runs away in the opposite direction. Turns out the vicious canine is chained up and it’s a dead end anyway. Finding the correct trail we weave through the village, pissing of locals with cries of Trail and On On!! Eventually the village endes and the shiggy begins. The trail leads us through a typical New Territories area of tall grass, graves, small houses and dogs. At the base of the hill I look upwards to see some light shining on the side of the hill. I ask One Eyed Jack whether it’s a hasher or some lost sod. He informs me Catch Of The Day had left early and is doing the run on her crutches. The group splits up with Stingray, One Eyed Jack, Radio One, and myself going for the full run and the rest turning back. Passing the mad Japanese woman, attempting to penetrate the hill with her crutches, we get to the top of the ridge line. Unencumbered by dogs and checks I run ahead and lose everyone.

The run continues along the top of the hill. The view down into the city is fantastic. One could almost call it breathtaking, assuming one had been punched in the stomach and lost one’s breath while looking at the view. Abiding by the laws of physics (Fuck you Newton!) the trail eventually goes down. One final check in a village sends me left. Wandering through the maze of houses, the trail spits us out by the nullah once again. Predictably the trail leads us to the loving embrace of cold beer, hot food and above-room-temperature wine (Fuck you Gibbs!). Next rambos in are One Eyed Jack, Stingray, Radio One and Liberace, roughly in order of arrival. Liberace tells us to pick up the Mad Kamikaze Cripple at the base of the hill. He and the Walky Talky set off in the van to try and get the Bloody Minded One.

So a quick review of the wimps misadventure. Golden Balls did a short walk around because he cannot get wet. Something about being Frankenstein’s monster and the glue will fail causing his limbs to fall off. Side note to the side note: GB also saved the day and got beer due to Eunuch not being able to make it. Velcro Lips and No Rough Stuff walked a fair way up the hill before saying fuck this and going back. Not entirely sure what Dram and T-Bird did but it did involve not going up the hill. So at the precise time of “bloody late” we recovered the Grand Mattress. Holding to the Bushido code she refused liberace’s van, safe choice, and finished the run. Liberace went home due to it being officially “bloody late”. The circle was completed like a 10-year-old completes his homework, without desire or care.

Down downs:(What I can remember)

69K for personal circle

GM for causing a late start

69K for personal circle

Possibly Sam Miguel and myself. Her for being dressed as a cougar myself for being young

69K for personal circle

Stingray for being a coward

69K for personal circle

Liberace lookalike for being able to unable to read a map

69K for personal circle

Fartypants for wanting to go to bed

69K for personal circle  – Green Head Penis

Hare Walky Talky

Runners Dram, T-Bird, Velcro Lips, No Rough Stuff, Radio One, One Eyed Jack, Stingray, Liberace, Catch Of The Day, Green Head Penis, Golden Balls

Non-runners Fartypants, Golden Jelly, 69K, Sam Miguel

Bucket Eunuch failed so Golden Balls attempted to get beer and dropped it all in the road while attempting to carry several crates at once




Run 1911, 3 April, Fanling

Running for Office

NRS curtsey

This week’s hare was Golden Balls again. The run started at Fanling Recreation round. The hare, hash beer Eunuch, GM Catch of the day, Dingaling, One Eyed Jack, Geriatric and Penile Dementia had already arrived when Liberace carried the ice in. Then we had No Rough Stuff, Radio 1 and Golden Jelly turning up late.
The GM waited some time for No Rough Stuff to change into her hash gear, but she seemed to have no intention of getting changed. After 10 minutes she just asked why didn’t she start the run as she still had no rough stuff. She decided to do the hash in executive dressing.
After GB gave a bullshit briefing, we started chasing the trail to the footbridge across San Wan Road in the direction of Salesman’s house direction – except Eunuch he cannot run because he got the outbreaking measles, which he claimed is actually syphilis. Running went somewhere through Fanling Lau village then direct to the industrial area. Only One Eyed Jack and No Rough Stuff took the wimps, the others took the rambo when met the first R-W split.
Liberace, Dingaling and Radio 1 met the open open check somewhere beside the nullah. When they checked to the left and met somebody made a mark to indicate there was a T in front. So they checked the other ways everywhere but can’t find out any trail. Finally they checked back to the mark indicating there was T. No longer than 10 metres, trail was found up some steps on the right up the hill to shiggy beside Cow Pat. When in the shiggy, Liberace and Dingaling ran in the front. They kept hearing a very scared voice yelling “Are you! Are you!” anywhere in the whole shiggy trail behind far away by Radio 1.
After the shiggy we met the concrete to the lift up to a footbridge on over Tolo Highway to the opposite side. Turn right to Wo Hop Shek direction. Ran about 5 minutes then met the pagoda beside PTU which was the location of GB’s run couple of months ago.
Past the pagoda I could see no marking any more anywhere. One Eyed Jack still did his own way when the others try everywhere to find out trail. Dingaling and Penile Dementia found out the trail up to the second hill after seeing the second R W split. But I decided short cutting from PaK Wo Road back to the railway station. Radio 1 and No Rough Stuff decided following One Eyed Jack back on their own trail.
They were the first three running back to the circle. Next back was Liberace, then Dingaling and Penile Dementia. As they were so silly not to follow Liberace at the hashing, so they did a total 9 kms distance. Golden Jelly was the second last back. And Geriatric was the red lantern.
Conclusion, it was a very great run. Especially the shiggy that l never done. Thanks so much to Golden balls. – Liberace
Hare Golden Balls
Runners One Eyed Jack, Radio 1, No Rough Stuff, Liberace, Penile Dementia, Dingaling, Catch Of The Day, Golden Jelly, Geriatric
Non-runner Eunuch

Call For Hares

We have hares confirmed until the end of May (see hareline) and now need to fill in the second half of the committee year plus a little further to give the new committee in November some leeway. This is a volunteer call for hares – you can choose a date that suits you. First come first served. We’ll keep this open until Saturday 13 April, when we’ll allocate names to unclaimed dates. The table below shows all the run dates until the end of the year, including Saturday runs.

From the last AGM to the end of May, 21 hashers will have set runs, some of them more than once. Others have helped with things like the pub run and the 1900th run. And of course it goes without saying that some have not pulled their weight, possibly for good reason. We’re looking forward to seeing you guys back on the hareline! Those who have set runs are:

Back To The Future

Catch Of The Day

Creme Brulee (2)


Dram (3)

Eunuch (2)

Gaelle Says No


Green Head Product

Golden Balls (4)

Golden Jelly

Liberace (2)

Luk Sup Gow

Mango Groove

One Eyed Jack

Penile Dementia (2)

Radio 1

Stingray (2)

Velcro Lips (2)


Walky Talky


1921 5 Jun
1922 12 Jun
1923 19 Jun
1924 26 Jun
1925 3 Jul Geriatric
1926 10 Jul
1927 17 Jul
1928 24 Jul Catch Of The Day
1929 31 Jul
1930 7 Aug
1931 14 Aug
1932 21 Aug
1933 28 Aug
1934 4 Sep
1935 11 Sep
1936 18 Sep
1937 25 Sep
1938 28 Sep Saturday Run No. 23 Luk Sup Gow
1939 2 Oct
1940 9 Oct
1941 16 Oct
1942 23 Oct
1943 30 Oct
1944 6 Nov
1945 13 Nov Birthday Golden Balls
1946 20 Nov
1947 23 Nov Saturday Run No. 24 / AGM Committee
1948 27 Nov Back To The Future
1949 4 Dec
1950 11 Dec Pub Run Committee
1951 18 Dec
1952 25 Dec Public holiday
1953 1 Jan Public holiday

Run 1910, 27 March, Kowloon Reservoir

Arachnid I

0e0c25e6-9b1a-4306-aa42-9726372dd076The carpark at Golden Hill Country Park was the meeting point. The hare was Dram. This was the first time I’d ever been to this infamous country park, where you could literally hear, see and feel, up-close and personal, the infamous wildlife (the monkeys and wild boars) in the New Territories. When Liberace and I got there, I was amazed to see that they were all over the place. They were all sitting around the carpark fences and just kind of minding their own business, although I have no clue why they were there watching us with discerning eyes (maybe trying to steal our beer and food).

The run started at around 7:40pm when everybody arrived. Some of us, including myself and Radio 1, were really concerned and afraid of the monkeys. We were literally scared that they would attack us when we ran. And some of us were making comments to the hare as to why this place was chosen to do the hash.

The hare at the beginning said that he’d set two trails in 3.5 hours, which turned out to be a lie, as he must have forgotten to mention that he set the trails on separate days and that’s why there were markings from left to right. Anyway, we were braving the noise made by the monkeys and set off into the darkness.

As usual, I was the only one who got left behind the advanced runners. Following million of steps upward – these steps slow down some of the advanced runners tremendously, like Bunter, who’s almost 70 years of age!

So Bunter and I kept each other company almost the whole way. We were quiet at first, and to keep myself calm and ignore all the forest noises I had no choice but to keep making conversation with my companion. We kept talking and walking and he told me a story that he told me before, last time we ran together. However, I’d rather not say anything to him at this point and I just kept listening and pretending to be interested in his story.

So far the run was fine until there was a big marking with a circle and inside there was something, but we could no longer tell if it was a check back or just a check. We kept climbing the steps religiously believing that these would lead us to open flat ground in no time, but nope, the end was nowhere to be seen and the steps kept twirling and twisting and leading us into the deepest and darkest part of the forest.

Running out of breath, we slowed down and stopped for a while to catch our breath. At this point, all I could see was this meandering, long, steep, wet flight of steps ahead of me in this hopelessly endless darkness but somehow glittering with suspicious lights shaped like tiny diamonds along this dirt road. When I looked more closely with my headlamp, I could finally make out what they were – spiders!!! There were spiders along the trail and each of them must have had six eyes staring at us from our feet. I felt like fainting at first. I mustered up my courage and faced my own fear and kept walking ahead without looking at them.

After seeing these creepy crawlies, I’m sure we were being watched and stalked by monkeys and all sorts.

When we finally made our way to the wimps and rambo split, we decided to take the wimps instead of the rambo, and this of course was a bit of a dilemma for us, as no advanced runners decided to take this trail and so we were facing the darkness all by ourselves again. Bunter’s blow torch was running out of battery so my headlamp was the only light that could lead us back to civilisation. We had a glimpse of civilisation along the wimps trail, it was hiding behind a bushy hill… and then a pair of red eyes floating in the air and looking at us from afar in the dark… the noise of a dog barking getting closer and closer, ready to spring from behind or above us any time.

Finally we made it to the dam, the calming water resting silently in the reservoir reflecting the shadows of a blurry outline of the moonlight and castles shaped like towers. Just looking at this beautiful scenery made it all worthwhile, all the scary and crazy effort we’d made from the beginning. The night-time skyline was fantastic for the rambo runners. They could see almost anywhere including Tsuen Wan, Hong Kong Island, Tsim Sha Tsui and Shatin. What a great effort to set a run like this Dram! Salute to you!

PS – Back in the carpark where Velcro was challenging the monkey with big balls to a fence rattling competition disrupting the hash circle!  – No Rough Stuff

Hare Dram

Runners Green Head Penis, Oranguwank, Liberace, Eunuch, One Eyed Jack, Velcro Lips, Radio 1, Serbian Bomber, Back To The Future, Penile Dementia, No Rough Stuff, Bunter

Non-runner Golden Balls

Run 1909, 20 March, Tsing Lung Tau

What Run? What A Run!


It looked like for the first time ever there would be no run. A couple of hashers hadn’t pulled their run-setting weight and we were left with an unclaimed date. Repeated appeals, no volunteers. And so the hash was advised there would be no run. Then at the last minute an unlikely heroine stepped up, one with scant run-setting experience and one so afraid of graveyards (which tend to figure a lot in our runs) that she’d rather turn back than go through…stand up Back To The Future!

The lady spent the whole day recceing and setting the run in Tai Lam Country Park, and then turned up with 100 delicious chicken wings for the apres-run. Perhaps in anticipation of a blah run several hashers stayed away, but those who fronted up were rewarded with an almost perfect run with clever checks, good and long-time-untried shiggy (virgin to me but not of course to One Eyed Jack), a stream crossing and a surprise finish.

From the off it was provocative. Instead of going along the road into the country park, trail went through a gate and up steps above a shotcrete slope where runners negotiated some shiggy before dropping down close to the reservoir. Then it was up the road to a check at the steps down to the stream crossing that marks the end of the mountain marathon. Some hashers disappeared down the steps, others carried on up the road to the turning for the trail into the hills. Both parties met with a T. At this point Velcro Lips decided enough was enough and did her own thang.

I forget who it was that found trail after minutes of baffled charging around, possibly One Eyed Jack, but the route went up a steel ladder with a safety ring around it, climbing up a shotcrete slope to a shelf, then via a series of channels and shelves into a steepish trail through high shiggy. I was last onto the ladder and could hear “Trail!” increasingly faintly from above. Soon I passed Geriatric, and then at the top of the hill at about 200m altitude I caught up with Golden Jelly and No Rough Stuff, who were taking photos of each other and of the bridges below across the water like happy clapping tourists. A T next to a check revealed that the hare still wasn’t fully appraised of the nuances of hash markings, but it didn’t faze anybody. There followed a descent I’d never done before, quite rough and overgrown and with typhoon-damage complications, and the odd unexpected cliff if you strayed off trail. This challenging descent into a ravine ended at a broad stream crossing where I lost trail several times trying to head uphill away from the stream. By the time I found trail (along the stream then up some concrete works to re-cross the stream to the original bank) NRS, GJ and Geriatric had caught me up.

There followed a very steep ascent on fixed rope out of the ravine and suddenly you were on a road. I was so disorientated that I thought at first I must be somewhere near Tsing Fai Tong, but then I realised we were on the road we’d started out on, and the finish was less than a kilometre of easy running away. It not being a race or competitive in any way, I powered away from the other three hanging on the rope and scored a stunning victory at the back of the pack!

At the finish chicken wings were being devoured and Liberace was building a huge bonfire. One Eyed Jack led the circle and we stayed until the beer ran out – a sure sign of a good hash. Excellent effort, Back To The Future!  – Golden Balls

Hare Back To The Future

Runners Geriatric, Golden Jelly, No Rough Stuff, Golden Balls, Velcro Lips, Liberace, Eunuch, One Eyed Jack, Serbian Bomber, Radio 1