Can I have my Jaffa Cakes now? Run Report – 2089

You may be wondering why a strange title for this run report.Well, the answer is that Cutie, in his new role of webmaster/publisher/ cum R.A. promised Mango a lifetime supply of Jaffa Cakes if he wrote up Geriatric’s and Judy’s run from a couple of months ago. Cutie be warned Mango doesn’t want any of those rip-off Jaffa Cakes from the one-poundshop in Tai Po nor the French version that ex-hashers Monkeyteer and Crème Brule wet themselves over…. Mango wants Mcvitie’s…lovely, soft, squeezy, sweet and tangy on the inside…the perfect woman…oops I mean cake…ooops I mean biscuit.

Now for the run…A lovely dry, slightly humid evening with a run set by Geriatric and Judy, from a location we have never used, a small shelter adjacent to Ma On Shan Long Keng Village Beach. Nice location, super location, but what a trek from Wu Kai Sha MTR. I have never walked for so long under a covered walkway…it must have been over a kilometre. As most of us were on the way, a message sent by the hare “look for the red blob!” was posted on our group. What was this red blob? Who was this red blob? Did Geriatric find a chubbier member of our group, leave him out in the sun the whole day and then tie him to a lamppost as a marker for the rest of the group to follow? It sounds like the sort of thing Geriatric is capable of, but we will never know what this red blob was. Alas, we managed to make it to the shelter before 7-30 pm, well, not all because Imbiblio and Nitro Gorman were to arrive slightly later. 

Geriatric gave instructions, and all was good in the world. Off we went back up the little slip road we walked down and the first check. Piece of cake, everyone went left along the main road, Chihuahua Jackson and Prince of Darkness leading the pack onto the next check. Needed to think here, “Will the hares take us around Whitehead Golf Driving Range or over the road and towards Starfish Bay?” It turned out to be the latter as we raced over the road with Golden Balls, Velcro and Dram solving this quickly. 

After solving another simple check, we were treated to a rather long stretch of flat running with Liberace, Juan Revolta and Energiser Bunny racing away. It wasn’t long before the racers found themselves off the trail as they had missed the left-pointing arrow that took us along a drainage canal. This was a nice off-road trail leading towards a gate and into some open land. A very large check was found, but this proved tricky to solve. We looked in all directions until the trail was sighted over and into a rubbish dump. Cutie, who found trail,kept finding paper all the way to a public toilet and a check near Nai Chung Pebbles Beach. The trail could only go left or right, but yet this proved taxing on our collective brain cells until Prince of Darkness called “on on” right with a little scramble along the beach up onto a nice path, behind some bamboo and into  Nai Cung. Again a few checks caught us out with a common theme of Liberace running the wrong way and Prince of Darkness calling him back. 

Soon we were heading away from Nai Chung, running parallel to Ma On Shan bypass. Somehow we had lost Prince of Darkness and Chihuahua Jackson, just as well, as at this point, “hash stupidity” reared its ugly head because Liberace, Energiser Bunny and Juan Revolta started racing with each other only to miss a check back. Fortunately, Cutie spotted it and alerted Mango. The proper trail took us uphill in the general direction of Ngaa Wu Steam but not that far up, quickly descending back onto the trail until a Rambo / wimps split. The rambos headed into Ma On Shan, turning leftwards towards Villa Athena before a little jaunt along the coastlineand back to the bucket. It was almost a 9km run, long but enjoyable.

Back at the bucket, we were treated to a feast of spring rolls, garlic bread and chicken wings, and if that wasn’t enough,Cutie provided some Kendal Mint Cake after his quick trip to the UK. As we feasted, we had forgotten that Imbiblio and Nitro Gorman were still out, but they both returned not too long after having done the full and “proper” trail. All in all a highly enjoyable evening. Much gratitude to Geriatric and Judy for setting the trail and preparing a mini-banquet for us.

Run Report – 2097 – 11 January 2023, Tsing Yi

A pleasantly cool evening for a pleasant jaunt to the highlands of Tsing Yi, I thought as Golden Jelly and I left the car in the housing estate car park to be told by Google that the start was 700m away, and tramping through the huddled and masked crowds heading for rice in cramped quarters we soon came across the on-home, following it to Nga Ying Chau Garden, where the hares Velcro Lips and Back To The Future were pressing pre-run chocolate brandies on the unfortunate pack.

The start was at a paved and covered area with seating made from rough-hewn granite blocks polished flat and smooth on the top, and jolly comfortable too. Where are the bogs, I asked, to be told by Velcro that the park was too small for conveniences but there was a dark cranny behind the sitting-out area littered with toilet paper, proving that that was where people went to relieve themselves. I wondered how she knew. Watch out for that tree, I said enigmatically as I headed for the woods, but clearly the hares had never heard of George Of The Jungle.

Back at the blocks, I missed the briefing as I faffed with my headlamp, whose straps had been altered a few days prior to fit a cycling helmet, and by the time I got it right the pack had disappeared from view. Worse, there were no markings in the park (fervent parkies at work?) or at the bus terminus outside. Woe is me, thought I, for how shall I ever catch the pack? But catch them I did at the first check, down an unlikely-looking side road with no pavement at the end of which was a check surrounded by milling hashers. As I reached the check, on on was called over a low wall and through some trees out to – the waterfront promenade.

I found myself in a loose group of walkers that included Hoover, Golden Jelly and Geriatric. Bunter was somewhere in the mix but I never saw him until the end. The runners – Dingaling, Qutie, Liberace, Mango Groove and Stunt Double – kept concertinaing in and out of vision as they trotted around looking for the inevitable escape route from the waterfront into the hills. An escape route that did not manifest itself for another couple of kilometres, enabling Liberace to pull his usual stunt of not checking far enough at checks, telling everybody there were no markings, then marking his own trail in the wrong direction, which of course everybody followed – a tactic that enabled the walkers to keep up with the runners right up to the rambo/wimp split.

Here, the rambos went right. Later commentary revealed the climbing of a wall; the ascent of a slippery rock face; and a fine shiggy descent. The wimps meanwhile went left on a mundane urban route inland from the promenade, eventually reaching the on-home previously encountered. I did all in my power to thrash the other wimps into submission and made a triumphal, breathless entry into the park to be subject to a barrage of questions from Velcro, questions I couldn’t answer because believe it or not I was panting too much from my exertions.

Hoover and Golden Jelly followed me in followed by Bunter and Geriatric, then the first Rambo in the shape of a charging Mango Groove followed by Liberace and Qutie, Stunt Double and Dingaling. The entire pack finished within a few minutes of each other. If one measure of a good hash is to keep the pack together, this was a good hash.

Back To The Future was passing out pistachios and Velcro was rounding up people for an on-on at a local daipaidong. An initial yes vote resulted in the decision to have the circle at the on-on. But then things fell apart. The centre could not hold. Mere apathy was loosed upon the hash as one by one excuses were made and folk departed, Back To The Future because she had to go to Macau the next day. Qutie because he had to get up at 7am and “use my brain”. Whatever next. Suddenly there was nobody left, the beer had all been drunk and…where was the circle? It had been put in a cupboard somewhere.

Run Report – 2091 – Day 3 of 15 Hashes of Christmas

Hare: Golden Balls

Hashers: G-spot, Ah Duk, Barely Legal, Chihuawa, Comes Up the Rear, Minja Turtle, Cutie, Lap Sap Gow, Lost In Space, Gobi Lo, D-Dog, Octopussy, Geriatric, Jill, Thermal Dick, Jon, Juicy, Tight Lips, Head Lamp, Golden Jelly, Telecum, Liberace, Lotus, Hopeless, Moonie, Cyclops, North and South, Imbiblio, Freebee, Radio One, Ruthless, Sheila, Dingaling, Victim, Wincy

Write-up: Hopeless

Day 3 of “15 Hashes of Christmas” and Northern New Territories H3 was hosting the Wednesday run. As they usually set “up north” then we were treated to a northern location – Yuen Long station.

For those who have never been to Yuen Long, or those overseas, it has transformed from a dusky village house landscape to a huge Metropolis, dominated by the 2 phases of “Yoho Mall”. Times have moved on since the white tee shirt clad triads in 2019 running through the MTR and whacking passers-by with their wooden sticks…..

The start was by the nearby bike shop from Exit J. The hare was busy handing out $7 in shrapnel for our “ferry across the Mersey” ride, which, I must admit, I have never done before. Google coughed up “Nam Sang Wai Ferry”, so this must be the one, but it didn’t help working out Golden Balls’ trail.

35 runners set off to experience a pretty much 3km run along the riverside of Kam Tin River before turning into the paddy fields and villages. Trail was reasonably well marked, including the use of toilet paper. All Checks were Open. So, when a local villager takes a #2 by the path and leaves their used toilet paper there, it can cause confusion to the pack!

After nearly 6km we come to the “ferry”. A tiny wooden boat across a murky pond, $7 and only 7 people per ride. 7 into 35 means quite a bit of waiting for some! But an interesting experience, and then a 2km run in to the finish.

Plenty of cold softies and beer, and a good Circle, including a raffle, organised by Moonie (who kept his shorts on!).

But… no hash song…. Oops!

Will we need masks for the ferry?


Run Report 2084 – October 26th 2022

Hare: Ding-a-Ling

Pack: Qutie, Mango, Liberace, CoTD, CoTD Guest, Radio One, Imbiblio, DRAM, Geriatric

For the first time in 2 years, restrictions on gatherings have been relaxed to allow gatherings of up to 12!! Thank goodness a pack of 9 showed up to make sure we would remain legal. No more would we have to separate into groups of 4 or fewer! Instead we tested the law by making our way to the BBQ Pits and the start of the run. Legally closed and being a law abiding group of 12 and under in number rather than age, we wouldn’t dream of using the BBQ pits, so we parked the start on the path. Would have been dangerous to sit around the BBQ pits.

The scene now set, the hare gave us the briefing – An easy trail marked in Chalk, standard markings, Wimps and Rambos, ~6.5K for both. Back the way you came and down the hill.

We set off down the road we had walked up and across the traffic lights. Leading the pack I managed to find the first check and having checked straight, found the trail down a set of steps and on to a slope maintenance platform. On to another check I once again found myself at the back of the pack by again checking the wrong way. The trail made its way along some light shiggy to Fu Kin street, here yet another check found CoTD leading the pack up a small hill. the trail turned right before the hospital and down a residential street where it came down some stairs and through a public housing estate to a service road.

We managed to find a check but failed to find any markings. Say what you will of the hare (and much was said at the time): he did succeed in keeping the pack together. After a good 20 minutes searching for trail in a pattern my GPS reliably tells me looks like this:

Myself and CoTD decided to take a chance on a paper trail that the hare neglected to mention. Finding a check at the end of this short section confirmed the veracity of this paper trail being the one we were supposed to be on. What followed was a good 5 minutes of screaming “TRAIL!”, alerting the rest of the pack, and the entire Hin Keng public housing estate that we were finally back on trail.

From here the hare lead up to and along the catchwater – Section 5 of Wilson trail. At the 6.5K mark we found the Rambos/Wimps split. The wimps continued along section 5 while the rambos started going up and endlessly up. In hindsight it was only 100m vertical but by the time we reached the top we were 7K into a 6.5K run. A hell of a view was had at the 7.5K run when we passed Amah Rock. From there it was a straight shot down the hill, back to the catch water and down to home finishing 8.5K into a 6.5K run.

Remarkably, bar the red lantern, the whole pack managed to return home within a 5 minute window, the wimps arriving moments before the Rambos. It does make one wonder if the faux pas of not mentioning the paper trail was in fact all part of the hares’ dastardly plan to keep the pack together? (It wasn’t). The Circle was formed at 9:30, as per the instructions of the GM. Down downs were given to the hare for poor communication and Liberace – calling at a check while being the pack leader, Mango & Imbiblio for finding the paper trail, following it halfway up before turning around and saying no markings & Quite for failing to describe his affair with Mangos villages friends dog last week.

Sadly, no OnOn this evening as the aforementioned BBQ pits are not legal to use until this week.

Are You?!?

– Liberace – at the rambos check, as the FRB, leading the pack

Oh, did I not mention the paper?

– Ding-a-Ling, after failing to mention the paper during the briefing

Run Report – 2083 – Oct 19th 2022

Hare: Mango Groove

Pack: QT, Prince of Darkness, Imbiblio, Velcro Lips, Liberace, Juan Revolta, Cindy (TBN), Becky (TBN), Nitro Goreman, Radio One, Geriatric, Ding-a-Ling

Rocking up at 7, I was greeted with the endless moanings from Juan Revolta of how far out Sai Kung is from Central anywhere (He might be on to something…), we found the hare giving a brief to the one and only Prince of Darkness! Having survived the dangers of a British summer, he quietly set off before the pack had assembled. Radio One, a fellow early arrival could only look on in earnest as the GM banned her from heading off early.

Once the anointed time of 7:30 arrived, the hare gave his briefing – a short run to ensure an OnOn at the local Dai Pai Dong. To paraphrase One Eyed Jack ( something something something CONCRETE! With the briefing done, the pack was unleashed, with the exception of Juan Revolta, who was kept on a leash to ensure the late arrival Cindy didn’t run alone. (what a Gentleman…)

Setting off along Harams Highway, I managed to every single check wrong and when I finally found my rhythm, hit a check back. Backing up and finding the OnOn along the road, the trail took us to the end of the road to a check and straight through and up. and up. What felt like miles ended up being about a mile of up hill, leading us to Man Kung Road Cemetery. Sensing a theme here we followed trail up and of course found the 2nd check back. The true trail leading us down Man Kung Road and the Wimps/Rambo Split. The Wimps followed the road back to Harims Highway and home.

The Rambos on the other hand followed a short shiggy path through the forest to Hing Keng Shek village, down the hill back to Harams Highway and home.

Much to the delight of Mango, the FRBs were back within 45 minutes & the rest of the pack within the hour. Total distance about 5.2k

a hurried circle was formed to ensure we would make it for the OnOn. Down Downs were given for Racing on the hash and one day I’ll actually pay attention to what the GM is talking about and might even make notes of who else recieves a Down Down.

12 hashers made it to the OnOn where the standard fair was had and another delightful evening ends.


There’s no way Liz Truss is going to quit. She won’t quit until Christmas at the very least.

Qutie – day before Liz Truss quit

Until the next run – ONON!

Sadly the regular photographer is off on an adventure in UK, so here’s some pictures I made:

Run Report – 2082 – Oct 12th 2022

Hare: Qutie

pack: Mango Groove, Velcro Lips, Juan Revolta, Liberace, Penile Dementia, Chiwawa Jackson, Nitro Goreman, Becky (TBN), Ding-a-Ling, DRAM, radio One, Imbiblio

What kind of hare writes his own run report?!? Perhaps it will “encourage” a return to semi regular reports? Doubt it, but since we’ve not had a run report in several years, I figure I’d put something together.

Starting from Chui Lok Street garden, the trail ran through Tai Yuen Estate, across Ting Kok road and around the back of the industrial estate. From here it went along side a small estate that must have some fantastic Fung Shui. We know this because of the village graveyard we ascended through. The trail then intersected with a powerlines maintenance path which split the wimps from the Rambo’s.

following the Rambo’s up the hill, into the shiggy and eventually intersecting the Wilson trail. The hash trail continued down the Wilson to Tai po tau. From here the trail followed along the back of Ying Pun Ha village, joined with the wimps and back home.

Unfortunately, none of the hashers actually managed to run this section as the FRB (who shall remain nameless but is quoted below) decided to spend a whole 3 minutes on the check and set his own trail home.

Still, all runners made it home and the even finished with an OnOn at the local equivalent to a dai pai dong.

a few quotes from the evenings events:

“I’ve not run this trail in 20 years”


“I set this trail 15 years ago”


“Such a beautiful trail of toilet paper”

Chiwawa Jackson

“You owe me a new pair of pants”

Becky (not yet named)


Derick’s response encapsulates Chiwawa’s attitudes towards this run

Run Report 1982 – 14 October 2020

Run 1982 Report

Location: Tai Po Sitting Out Area near King’s Belly

The Hare: Mango Groove @ Eddie Deane


Intro: Well as the hare is an EX Scientist turned Interior Decorator who studied fish and mushrooms, we could expect nothing else. So as there was the “The Alleged Threat From Rain” after the passage of the latest NON Typhoon, where our mad Scientist decided to follow the advice from those at the HKO and relocate from his original planned start of Yau Tong and move closer to the Belly. This move resulted in a shortfall in regular runners as the fitter of the bunch decided not to show up such as Gael Says Yes, Radio One, Golden Jelly, Penile Dementia, Plod, Creamy Brolley, TD, Mooney, LSG, Farty, Walky, Dram, Serbian (not seen for months!) etc.

The Pack:

So that left the following to make an appearance: Golden Balls arrived late as he got lost riding his newly acquired bike on the recently added cycle track. (He ended up at North District Hospital)

GM, OEJ and Back to the Future, who got back first..

Liberace, COTD and Auntie Septic with Eunuch.

No Rough Stuff appeared in full head to toe, brand new running regalia, saw a fish tank on the run and decided that it contained ghosts and returned to the start.

Our two grey’s of Q and Geriatric.

POD and Virgin Flaps who arrived back late after losing trail. Winners of the Red Lantern

The Run: What was there to say about the trail?

It went around past the station, up to JC Court, up the steps to TPK and back down through the village. Even the hare apologized for getting lost and having to make the checks extremely short at 20m, so markings were generally easy to follow.

Unfortunately, all trail was on CONCRETE, I say again CONCRETE. That material invented by the Romans and described by Wiki as:

Concrete is a composite material composed of fine and coarse aggregate bonded together with a fluid cement (cement paste) that hardens (cures) over time. In the past limebased cement binders were often used, such as lime putty, but sometimes with other hydraulic cements, such as a calcium aluminate cement or with Portland cement to form Portland cement concrete (named for its visual resemblance to Portland stone).Many other non-cementitious types of concrete exist with other methods of binding aggregate together, including asphalt concrete with a bitumen binder, which is frequently used for road surfaces, and polymer concretes that use polymers as a binder.

When aggregate is mixed with dry Portland cement and water, the mixture forms a fluid slurry that is easily poured and molded into shape. The cement reacts with the water and other ingredients to form a hard matrix that binds the materials together into a durable stone-like material that has many uses.Often, additives (such as pozzolans or superplasticizers) are included in the mixture to improve the physical properties of the wet mix or the finished material. Most concrete is poured with reinforcing materials (such as rebar) embedded to provide tensile strength, yielding reinforced concrete.

Because concrete cures (which is not the same as drying) how concrete is handled after it is poured is just as important as before.

Concrete is one of the most frequently used building materials. Its usage worldwide, ton for ton, is twice that of steel, wood, plastics, and aluminum combined Globally, the ready-mix concrete industry, the largest segment of the concrete market, is projected to exceed $600 billion in revenue by 2025.

Concrete is distinct from mortar. Whereas concrete is itself a building material, mortar is a bonding agent that typically holds bricks, tiles and other masonry units together

The Scribe: One Eye Jack

Edited by: Gunpowder Plod

Run 1968 – 20th May 2020

Fruity & Groovy in Kowloon

The Hare: Mango Groove

Cartoon Poster Mango Illustration, Mango boss, comics, food, user ...

The Pencil: Liberace

The Editor: Golden Balls

The WINO (Webshite In Name Only)***: Gunpowder Plod

The Pack: QT, Back To The Future, Bunter, Creme Brulee, Eunuch, Geriatric, Golden Balls, Liberace, One Eyed Jack, Penile Dementia, Stingray, Radio 1, Velcro Lips.

The Preamble: This week’s run was difference to traditional N2TH3 runs. Usually we run in the New Territories, but Mango set this run in Kowloon, at Ngau Chi Wan, probably because he was the hare for a lesser hash on Monday and didn’t want to spend time setting a different twail. The lazy guy just repeated the same twail for us.

The stories behind Hong Kong districts: Ngau Chi Wan and Choi Hung ...

About 6:45pm to 7pm, we were almost all present, except for Golden Balls who  came late. So we could start at 7.30pm sharp (except One Eyed Jack and Penile Dementia, who set off before the normal start time).

The Amble: After Mango gave a short briefing, the pack dashing up to Wing Ting Street and took a left to Ping Ting Street. After a long set of about 500 steps on the right we were directed to Hammer Hill. I was the front runner as usual when came to the first check, but l still got it wrong even though I had already done the same twail on Monday.

Directory /images/Hammer Hill - Fei Ngo Shan
Directory /images/Hammer Hill - Fei Ngo Shan

I ran straight up the steps for a long distance and found l was in the wrong when l heard QT calling twail from the bottom. When I ran back to the right twail, the pack were almost all in front of me. We ran to a shiggy path in the middle of the hill and were directed to somewhere near Diamond Hill.

No longer last l overtook all of the pack and led them down the long shiggy path, which ended up at the main concrete road. I clearly saw some concrete steps up to the fence and a great hole that you can go through. I got through the fence and ran down the main road, Fung Shing Street. But there were two blind people, Radio 1 and Stingray, who didn’t see the hole and continued into the shiggy searching further for twail.

It made them waste more than five minutes in the shiggy. Finally they found the hole then short cut back to the circle, complaining to the hare of no marking! Other than them, Eunuch, Creme Brulee, Geriatric and Velcro Lips also wimped back.

Back to my twail. l ran down Fung Shing Street and met a wimps/rambo split at the junction beside a petrol station. I also checked wrong by chasing flour straight up the main road only to find a reverse arrow marked “on home”. Then l ran back to the W/R split and found the real twail along the invisible path beside the petrol station and marked by tissue paper.

Chasing the paper into Diamond Hill Cemetery, I caught GM QT again when he ran around the cemetery. Running through the cemetery, we met the concrete Po Kong Village road and ran along it down to join the W/R split again. Then it was along Ping Ting road back to the circle.

Cemetary-Kowloon | Gwulo: Old Hong Kong

The Postamble: When we got back there was Eunuch, Creme Brulee, Geriatric, Penile Dementia, Stingray, Radio 1 and Golden Balls, who came late and did his own thing. They were all drunk on beer already.

One Eyed Jack had left early as usual. It’s like he didn’t do the run because no one knew he’d been there. Velcro Lips got back after l’d finished a can of beer and complained that no one had marked the checks. Back To The Future was last. She did the whole rambo trail and said she was very scared when running through the cemetery alone.

The Circle/Down Downs — can’t remember so many. Some of them were:

Mango — setting the same trail as he did for Kowloon Hash. No clear marking of the W/R split.

Liberace — getting the check wrong even though he’d done the same trail before. Not marking checks for Velcro Lips.

Back To The Future — Red Lantern.

Golden Balls — late. And doing his own run.

Radio1 and Golden Balls — private OnOn.

GM QT— 100 runs.

The OnOn: was in the daipaidong nearby. GM, Bunter, Mango, Stringray, Velcro, Penile, Geriatric, Liberace, GB and Radio 1 all went along, a total of 10 people. According to the Covid-19 law, gatherings of more than eight are not allowed. So Golden Balls and Radio 1, who were last to the daipaidong, reluctantly went for Korean barbecue somewhere else.

*** Ref WINO (Webshite In Name Only): Observant Hashers (Uh?) might have noticed that ONE WEEK BEFORE this run, a photo appeared with the Run Notice:

It was not quite this one but similar:

Smiling Young Female Seller Wearing Apron Showing Ripe Mango ...

Your WINO then received a complaint so (after much grumbling) your WINO replaced it with this:

Censor Images, Stock Photos & Vectors | Shutterstock

However, much to my astonishment, this innocuous pic was itself censored by our GM/Gauleiter-in-Chief (given access only to sort out/further fuck up this atrocious Word Press bollocks) and replaced with:

Cartoon Poster Mango Illustration, Mango boss, comics, food, user ... or similar…

I think I might have to resign – when is the AGM?

WINO Gunpowder Plod

Run 1964, 4 March 2020

Radio One’s Forest Wash-Out (with Jelly)


Sitting-out facilities at Tsung Tsai Yuen

The Hares: Radio One and Golden Jelly

Image result for radio pics
Image result for golden jelly small pics

The Scribe: Anus the Horrible – “Looking for a Sign”

Image result for anus the horrible pics The Day he was named:

Run 1684, 21 March 2015, Sham Tseng Reservoir – The Saturday Run …

The Pack: Auntiseptic, Anus the Horrible, Back to the Future, Bunter, Crème Brûlée, Dram, Eunuch, Farty Pants, Walkie Talkie, Geriatric, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Lok Sap Gow, One Eyed Jack, Ponce of Darkness, QT, Salesman, Serbian Bomber, Stingray, Sticky, Victim

The Preamble: Approaching the pavilion at Tai Po Kau Garden, I was surprised to see 20 or so runners champing at the bit. It was a damp and misty evening; on the way there, in Golden Jelly’s car, we’d guessed about eight people would show up.  

The Hares, Radio 1 and Golden Jelly, took us through the markings. No toilet paper! Not because it was impractical but because it was going for USD$10 per roll in Tai Po.

The Amble: The pack then stormed off, up the road and onto the nature trail, directed there by a barely visible chalk arrow (as it turned out, one of very few) and up to the beginning of the colour-coded trails that run through the enchanted forest.

Myself, Eunuch, Stingray and Salesman spent a few minutes searching for a sign – anything – that might tell us which way to go. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Sweet FA. The rain had taken all away.

At this point, a consensus was reached: The “run” would become a pleasant night-time stroll among the trees, following the blue trail that is dotted with interpretive notice boards with fascinating facts about twigs and woodlice.

Image result for wood lice pics

As well as educating ourselves about naturism, along the way we chatted about the prospects of various English football teams such as Arsenal United, Manchester Rovers and Chelsea Wanderers and agreed it was a great pity that the back legs had fallen off Liverpool Athletic and that Brian Sheepskin would have to go, his position untenable.

Things were going swimmingly (twigs are mostly brown, it turns out) until Salesman broke into a run. A run, for fuck’s sake. I followed, not wanting to left alone to be buggered by baboons or molested by the natives who, it’s rumoured, dwell deep in the forest (last seen in1931 when two emerged from the forest onto the platform of Tai Po Kau KCR station begging for toilet paper and hand sanitiser).

And then, glory be, a sign. The Rambo / Wimp split. There was a god. Even, perhaps, a hare. Salesman and I opted for the Rambo, ascending a steep flight of steps to a trig point at about 300m and down yet more steps to Savanna Garden for a short burst of proper running along Tai Po Kau Rd. We emerged from the mist in triumphant fashion. As it turned out, we were the only two Rambos. And by some miracle, we’d followed the trail.

Image result for gay runners hand in hand

The Circle: Down-downs were numerous and varied. Ones I recall: The Hares, of course, for failing to take into account the effect of rain on chalk.   Back to the Future and Lok Sap Gow for wearing each other’s clothes.    Sticky for being the recipient of ananatomically correct marital aid (who knew they made them this big?).    Stingray for not bringing crisps (this from a Frenchman).    Dram should have been given one, but wasn’t for pretending that well-known Hong Kong birdwatcher and man about town Martin the Bird had been seen lurking in the trees, emulating the mating call of the Yorkshire Dodo.

Postscript: I can’t speak to the experience of others. Golden Balls, (joined by Farty Pants and Gunpowder Plod, the latter returning early to share his hot mulled wine only with The Hares – Ed) it was rumoured, had chosen to cross the road to explore the coast in search of beer and women of questionable moral standing. They found only Liberace:

Image result for hong kong gay bar

Most had wandered aimlessly about the forest, forlornly looking for markings. It’s said some are still there, condemned to walk the trails for eternity, their plaintive cries of ‘are you?’ lost to the susurrating trees……

Run No 1962 – 19 February 2020 – 69’s 62 YOB Run

Image result for 1962  pics

The Location: Upper Shing Mun Reservoir BBQ Pits

The Hare: Luk Sap Gow @ 69

Image result for 69  picsRoute 69

Image result for Root 69  picsRoot 69

It’s all in the spelling…

The Scribe: Velcro Lips


The Pack: Velcro Lips, Stuntdouble, Hoover, Eunuch, Liberace, QT, Back to the Future, Bunter, Creme Brulee, Farty Pants, Walky Talky, Gaelle Says No, Geriatric, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Oranguwank, Salesman, Serbian Bomber, Stingray and Radio One.

The Preamble: 
There will be sausages and a fire. We were promised sausages which ensured a good turnout for the hare’s YOB run. We were told not to park where the hare’s car was parked as it was,”nonsense parking”. Uh oh, that sounds ominous.

Driving from Sai Kung to the run we came through the Shing Mun Tunnel, took the wrong turning, went back through the tunnel to Tai Wai, then around the narrow streets of Tai Wai to get back onto the Shing Mun Tunnel again . Eventually having paid many dollars worth of tunnel fees, we found the correct exit and headed up the hill to the Shing Mun Reservoir BBQ pits (Why am I not surprised? – Ed)

After figuring out the parking the pack assembled in the BBQ. There was a great
turnout obviously enticed by the promise of sausages. Nice to see Stuntdouble and Hoover on their first N2TH3 hash for a very long time.

The Run:
We were promised a nice flattish run with no shiggy. The pack set off and the confusion
began at the next BBQ area, which had what looked like a check, but was a N2TH3 start
marking crossed out—-obviously the hare had changed his mind at the last minute. On on was found and the pack were kept together for the first part of the run.

After a lot of climbing up there were distant calls of ,”Are you? Are you?”—Liberace of course running around like a headless chicken at checks. The rambos split off to face another steep climb, whilst the wimps had a nice run up and down back to the BBQ pits.

The Finish: Back at the finish all runners came back within a short period of time of each other —apart from Eunuch who disappeared off to take his car home, as his car had had problems on the steep hill ,when he arrived at the run. (Luk Dim Bun II? – Ed)

A fun circle was run by the GM QT and then it was sausage time! Many thanks to the hare for providing these for the pack. Runners sat around the BBQ pit drinking beer and red wine for quite a while after the circle finished, enjoying a good chat.

Poncescript: Ponce of Darkness decided he would do the run the next day ——but I think the monkeys had enjoyed the flour markings too much and he didn’t follow the trail.

This is the hare’s map of the run Blue is wimps and red is rambos –just under 8km:

Awaiting original from Hare – Ed