START LOCATION: Wishing Tree Carpark near Duke of Edinburgh Training Camp
Google Maps: https://goo.gl/maps/p7xVwCU6cvn4gXP68
TIME: 7:30 pm
HARES: Walky Talky
For Plebs: Public Transport. Nearest MTR is Tai Wo
For Toffs: Drive
PARKING: near the Start
HARE SAYS: not a lot but just enough and in good time 🙂
WEBSHITE’S COMMENT: “Those of you who have actually watched the latest Run Notice video on the SKH3 website may feel that your own Webshite is falling behind.
So, speaking of behinds, here is one for all hot blooded NT male hashers but particularly for seniors obliged to self quarantine – take care y’all:
Did you spot your very own hash ladies? Canton Clap perhaps (9 months ago….)”
Radio One’s Forest Wash-Out (with Jelly)
START LOCATION: Tai Po Kau Garden
The Hares: Radio One and Golden Jelly
The Scribe: Anus the Horrible – “Looking for a Sign”
The Day he was named:
The Pack: Auntiseptic, Anus the Horrible, Back to the Future, Bunter, Crème Brûlée, Dram, Eunuch, Farty Pants, Walkie Talkie, Geriatric, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Lok Sap Gow, One Eyed Jack, Ponce of Darkness, QT, Salesman, Serbian Bomber, Stingray, Sticky, Victim
The Preamble: Approaching the pavilion at Tai Po Kau Garden, I was surprised to see 20 or so runners champing at the bit. It was a damp and misty evening; on the way there, in Golden Jelly’s car, we’d guessed about eight people would show up.
The Hares, Radio 1 and Golden Jelly, took us through the markings. No toilet paper! Not because it was impractical but because it was going for USD$10 per roll in Tai Po.
The Amble: The pack then stormed off, up the road and onto the nature trail, directed there by a barely visible chalk arrow (as it turned out, one of very few) and up to the beginning of the colour-coded trails that run through the enchanted forest.
Myself, Eunuch, Stingray and Salesman spent a few minutes searching for a sign – anything – that might tell us which way to go. Nada. Nothing. Zilch. Sweet FA. The rain had taken all away.
At this point, a consensus was reached: The “run” would become a pleasant night-time stroll among the trees, following the blue trail that is dotted with interpretive notice boards with fascinating facts about twigs and woodlice.
As well as educating ourselves about naturism, along the way we chatted about the prospects of various English football teams such as Arsenal United, Manchester Rovers and Chelsea Wanderers and agreed it was a great pity that the back legs had fallen off Liverpool Athletic and that Brian Sheepskin would have to go, his position untenable.
Things were going swimmingly (twigs are mostly brown, it turns out) until Salesman broke into a run. A run, for fuck’s sake. I followed, not wanting to left alone to be buggered by baboons or molested by the natives who, it’s rumoured, dwell deep in the forest (last seen in1931 when two emerged from the forest onto the platform of Tai Po Kau KCR station begging for toilet paper and hand sanitiser).
And then, glory be, a sign. The Rambo / Wimp split. There was a god. Even, perhaps, a hare. Salesman and I opted for the Rambo, ascending a steep flight of steps to a trig point at about 300m and down yet more steps to Savanna Garden for a short burst of proper running along Tai Po Kau Rd. We emerged from the mist in triumphant fashion. As it turned out, we were the only two Rambos. And by some miracle, we’d followed the trail.
The Circle: Down-downs were numerous and varied. Ones I recall: The Hares, of course, for failing to take into account the effect of rain on chalk. Back to the Future and Lok Sap Gow for wearing each other’s clothes. Sticky for being the recipient of ananatomically correct marital aid (who knew they made them this big?). Stingray for not bringing crisps (this from a Frenchman). Dram should have been given one, but wasn’t for pretending that well-known Hong Kong birdwatcher and man about town Martin the Bird had been seen lurking in the trees, emulating the mating call of the Yorkshire Dodo.
Postscript: I can’t speak to the experience of others. Golden Balls, (joined by Farty Pants and Gunpowder Plod, the latter returning early to share his hot mulled wine only with The Hares – Ed) it was rumoured, had chosen to cross the road to explore the coast in search of beer and women of questionable moral standing. They found only Liberace:
Most had wandered aimlessly about the forest, forlornly looking for markings. It’s said some are still there, condemned to walk the trails for eternity, their plaintive cries of ‘are you?’ lost to the susurrating trees……
START LOCATION: Bride’s Pool – northern pagoda/Lion’s Pavilion
Google Maps: https://goo.gl/maps/cezSmZWY7h7p1ELcA
TIME: 7:30 pm
HARES: Catch of the Day and Back to the Future
For Plebs: Public Transport. Nearest MTR is Tai Po Market and hitch a ride or catch a Minibus 20R http://www.16seats.net/eng/gmb/gn_20r.html or KMB: 275R https://moovitapp.com/index/en/public_transit-line-275R-Hong_Kong-2741-858000-586105-1 to Bride’s pool stop then walk 2 minutes
For Toffs: Drive along Ting Kok Road from Tai Po Road
PARKING: car park at Start
HARE SAYS: “bathing facilities available”
WEBSHITE’S COMMENT: Legend has it that a bride (Carried Lam) was being carried in a sedan chair by four porters on her way to meet her groom in stormy weather.
The Official Version: As they passed the pool, one of the porters slipped and the bride fell into the pool and drowned. Therefore, the pool was named Bride’s Pool in memory of the bride.
The Truth: The bride was an ugly, miserable shrew foisted on the cute young groom by a despotic northern step-mother Cixi. The groom bribed the eunuch porters to do her in so he could elope back to the future with his sexy sweetheart from the Ho clan, his true catch of the day.
Despotic tep-mother Cixi in sedan chair surrounded by her miserable Eunuchs
The Location: Upper Shing Mun Reservoir BBQ Pits
The Hare: Luk Sap Gow @ 69
It’s all in the spelling…
The Scribe: Velcro Lips
The Pack: Velcro Lips, Stuntdouble, Hoover, Eunuch, Liberace, QT, Back to the Future, Bunter, Creme Brulee, Farty Pants, Walky Talky, Gaelle Says No, Geriatric, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Oranguwank, Salesman, Serbian Bomber, Stingray and Radio One.
There will be sausages and a fire. We were promised sausages which ensured a good turnout for the hare’s YOB run. We were told not to park where the hare’s car was parked as it was,”nonsense parking”. Uh oh, that sounds ominous.
Driving from Sai Kung to the run we came through the Shing Mun Tunnel, took the wrong turning, went back through the tunnel to Tai Wai, then around the narrow streets of Tai Wai to get back onto the Shing Mun Tunnel again . Eventually having paid many dollars worth of tunnel fees, we found the correct exit and headed up the hill to the Shing Mun Reservoir BBQ pits (Why am I not surprised? – Ed)
After figuring out the parking the pack assembled in the BBQ. There was a great
turnout obviously enticed by the promise of sausages. Nice to see Stuntdouble and Hoover on their first N2TH3 hash for a very long time.
We were promised a nice flattish run with no shiggy. The pack set off and the confusion
began at the next BBQ area, which had what looked like a check, but was a N2TH3 start
marking crossed out—-obviously the hare had changed his mind at the last minute. On on was found and the pack were kept together for the first part of the run.
After a lot of climbing up there were distant calls of ,”Are you? Are you?”—Liberace of course running around like a headless chicken at checks. The rambos split off to face another steep climb, whilst the wimps had a nice run up and down back to the BBQ pits.
The Finish: Back at the finish all runners came back within a short period of time of each other —apart from Eunuch who disappeared off to take his car home, as his car had had problems on the steep hill ,when he arrived at the run. (Luk Dim Bun II? – Ed)
A fun circle was run by the GM QT and then it was sausage time! Many thanks to the hare for providing these for the pack. Runners sat around the BBQ pit drinking beer and red wine for quite a while after the circle finished, enjoying a good chat.
Poncescript: Ponce of Darkness decided he would do the run the next day ——but I think the monkeys had enjoyed the flour markings too much and he didn’t follow the trail.
This is the hare’s map of the run Blue is wimps and red is rambos –just under 8km:
Awaiting original from Hare – Ed
1960 YOB Run,
Hare Liberace, SP Golden Jelly
Vanishing Grave on Pisces
At 7.30pm, it was turn right next to the Tsung Pak Long pagoda past the overpass and go straight.
Velcro Lips and Golden Balls were taken out at the beginning. (Jesus! That’s a bit extreme; who offed them? – Ed)
I crossed the road and saw a “C” at the intersection. I ran straight on but it was wrong so I returned to the check. GB and Golden Jelly were walking. (So only poor VL was offed then…- Ed)
I went into the village entrance and saw Luk Sup Gow, Geriatric, Velcro, and then followed Crème Brulee and Eunuch (Anyone else confused? – Ed), running along the riverside and watching Shenzhen. When we met One Eyed Jack, he pointed us to cross the river and we ran along shiggy next to the Shenzhen water pipeline.
𥚃 I can’t see marking. I only saw “㐃” when I was on the concrete. I ran forward and turned into shiggy, but in fact there was a sidewalk next to it. I was bored, (Your readers are not bored; this is good stuff. Keep it coming – Ed).
I climbed the fence and ran forward. It’s “on home”. Well it’s interesting to return to the finish line quickly after 30 minutes. Liberace asked me some solutions. No passing through the cemetery! I asked all the hashers who came back later, including Ponce Of Darkness and GB. They did not pass through the cemetery either. Liberace, where is the graveyard??!!
Golden Jelly prepared a wealth of food, and villager Mr Kok passed by and joined the circle! (I trust he paid Hash Cash – Ed)
Editor’s Comment: That’s it folks:-( Radio One’s run report almost as short as her run! So, for your delectation and to commemorate the Mountin’ Sheep Hash House Harriers 50th Anniversary this month, I give you:
Version Three in Welsh:
The Location: Villa No 2, Tit Hang – Chez Jelly-Balls
The Hares: Golden Balls with Golden Jelly
The Pack: GM QT, Vibrator, Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Stuntdouble, Hoover, Farty Pants, Walky Talky, Velcro Lips, G-Spot, Eunuch, Auntieseptic, Piss in Bucket, Immaculate Conception, Ruthy, Luk Sap Gow, Beer Tits, MSG, Cathy, Moonie, Tangerine Dream, Radio One, Back to the Future, Salesman, Catch of the Day, Penile Dementia, Ponce of Darkness and Anus the Horrible.
The Scribe: Vibrator – originally named:
The Approach: The first challenge of the day was to find Golden Balls and Golden Jelly’s place, well hidden in his village of Tit Hang . Thanks to a lift from Gunpowder Plod I didn’t have to find it myself. Golden Balls takes the first ‘N’ in N2TH3 to extremes. I think the next village north is in China proper. A few cars arrived just before we were off to have a good turnout.Back to the Future in full biohazard gear leaves the Tit Hang WuFlu Quarantine Center
The Run: The run started through the vegetable patches close to the house. Golden Balls found his old running speed and must have kept sprinting ahead of the pack to pop up at every corner to take photos.Salesman overtakes the toddlers
The first part of the run was flat and easy terrain. This didn’t stop QT tripping 3 times inside 30m. Luckily, when he fell flat on his face he had a soft landing and fell in the manure. His record for the day was 8 crashes on trail plus 1 at the BBQ.
The hill continued up and along the ridge with great views of Shenzhen. Luckily the fresh breeze wasn’t Northerly and blowing in any airborne WuFlu. Moonie, after starting late, came charging through the pack taking the uphill and downhill like a Chamois. Only Golden Balls beat him down in time to take more photos. On-On to the Rambo split.Radio One tuned in…
The Rambo started with a rather steep and challenging burned-out slope. Golden Balls later admitted that he was far too scared to climb that slope and left Golden Jelly to set trail alone. Moonie and Liberace were the first up. Libs uncharacteristically went the wrong way at the check on the top. This left Moonie to chase down the other side and on-home shouting ‘On-On’, while the rest of the pack were still floundering going up.
Coming off the hill I met Eunuch coming up the wrong way having missed the well-marked split. This obviously wasn’t his fault as he blamed his Piss in Bucket, Immaculate Coception and Ruthy for leading him astray.
A great run; no concrete, not too long yet quite challenging with great views. And a couple had some sneaky Sex on the Hash:
The RA may have re-name these two following the oblivious Back to the Future up Humping Hill!
On-On: to Golden Balls and Golden Jelly’s Bash with greet food and plenty of booze and a Circle run by GM QT:
“Why you don’t like my Brexit Soup?”
Photos: Golden Balls, Walky Talky, Gunpowder Plod, Salesman