Run 1928, 17 July, Duke of Edinburgh Activity Centre

Insolvent

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A run memorable for an almost unsolvable check about 15 minutes in, turning a short flat summer run into a 2-hour marathon.

Last-minute hare Dram marked trail well out from the parking lot opposite the Duke of Edinburgh Activity Centre near the Wishing Tree, initially heading toward the impeccable public loos where front runners Liberace and Creme Brulee missed a check (possibly because of some ceremony taking place at the temple) and headed off into oblivion. Dingaling and Golden Balls, meanwhile, discovered trail going down to the channelised river and out toward Hong Lok Yuen. Here it dived off trickily, crossing the river and weaving through San Kiu across gardens, then up the long flight of steps to Wai Tau.

Here the lost FRBs caught up, including virgin Matt who had been brought along by CB, and the fun began. The fiendish check had about 10 options and they were all exhaustively checked, especially the ones heading back towards Lam Tsuen. The hare said this was a short run, right?

Nobody could find a sausage.

There actually weren’t any sausages. But somebody missed the most obvious route through the little park where, on the opposite side, a large Dram-sized arrow proclaimed the way. Quite who made this elementary blunder I recall not, except that it was somebody who should have hashed better. So there we were just a few hundred metres from the start as the crow flies and 45 minutes on the clock.

On we soldiered, along the interminable concrete paths of Wai Tau, through the rural-urban sprawl of Tai Hang and on toward the nullahs of Nam Wa Po, one wild goose chase after another. Then, surprise! There was the hare sat in a little shelter near Kwun Yam Temple with a bag of tinnies. Most welcome on a sweltering evening.

Should be a straightforward trail back now. But no. It led us farther north toward Wo Hop Shek and over the railway to Kau Lung Hang. By this time the pack was fracturing significantly, GB heading home along Tai Po Kung Lo, others doing a creative short cut at Hong Lok Yuen and Walky Talky and No Rough Stuff deciding – bewilderingly – that trail would lead into the HLY estate. It actually led to the spaghetti underpass junction at the roundabout and back along Lam Kam Road. It is thought that Golden Jelly and Back To The Future were the only hashers to complete the full trail.

Was there food? I seem to recall so. Good effort by the hare at short notice. — Golden Balls

Hare Dram

Runners Liberace, Creme Brulee, Matt, Dingaling, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Back To The Future, others?

Non runners ??

Run 1927, 10 July, Hok Tau

Ref: HKP SS RN 123456/19

Disorderly Conduct, Noise at Night and Indecent Exposure

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Date/Time/ Place of Report: 230010072019 Sheung Shui Division

Informant: CHAN Fat, ID A123245(0) Village Representative, Hok Tau, Tel 2860 0000

Report: Inft reports by phone that between approx 1930 hrs and 2230 hrs on 10 July, an unruly rabble of  gweilos and yellow running dogs assembled at the BBQ pits of Hok Tau and then ran through the organic farms of the valley, opening gates and disturbing peaceful farmers and dogs with cries of “Are U?” and “OnOn” and “Twail!”.

They had also scattered the paths with shredded copies of “A Nerd’s Guide to Hong Kong Tunnels” and “The Joint Declaration”.

This mob were next seen running down Lau Shui Heung Road causing village cyclists, smugglers and green minibus passengers great alarm with their flashing searchlights and loathsome grimaces.

They next greatly disturbed the peaceful market gardeners of Ko Po and Ng Uk Tsuen who were forced to get out of their beds to defend their bak choi crops against the trampling feet of the ghastly foreign intruders.

Some peace was temporarily restored when this cowardly pack were driven into the hills by a 92-year-old villager of Tan Chuk Hang and veteran of the Long March, and his teenage sha pei.

Unfortunately they reappeared in the BBQ pit shelter at about 2030 hrs and proceeded to noisily and drunkenly party and disturb the villagers of Hok Tau Wai with their ribald commentary and raucous laughter.

One old gweilo was observed removing his shorts behind a wall and exposing his ample bottom to the moonlight and the visage of an outraged female village elder hiding in the bushes pleasuring herself.

Action Requested: VR CHAN Fat demands that vigurous police action be taken to identify and seriously prosecute the imperialist offenders

Action Taken: SS Mobile 1 attended scene Code 3 at 2330 hrs.

No suspect persons found.

Informant located who complained that police had woken up the villagers with their siren.

Ambulance called to scene at 2350hrs.

VR CHAN Fat taken to NDH with minor head injury caused by running into PC 1234’s baton which he was waving at mosquitos.

A strange gweilo document was seized in the shelter:

Hare: Dingaling

Pack: One Eyed Jack, Gunpowder Plod, Liberace, Serbian Bomber, Salesman, Velcro Lips, Dram, ?

Hangers On: Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, ?, ?

Divisional Commander Action: clearly a case of Misunderstanding. NFA

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Run 1926, 3 July, Wu Kai Sha

Protest Too Much

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Preface: A Japanese journalist, arriving at the airport to cover the Hong Kong protests, was hijacked by the GM and dragged along to Geriatric’s run, which was totally washed out by downpours. No two runners did the same trail, but the journalist gamely splashed on, carrying his backpack (which got soaked) and even agreed to write a run report. Here it is, courtesy of Google Translate. Thank you, Anonimo-San!

Thank you very much. This time I joined Hash House Harriers (HHH) for the first time, and I learned that there is such a world. With no rain, it runs around the city with loud noises. I was surprised at the sight at first, but it is a good experience to finish. The beer after that was also delicious. The reason I joined this time is an invitation from Kinkoji. I came from Beijing to cover the fugitive ordinance that is causing a stir in Hong Kong, but when I first met with Ms Kin in charge of introducing and interpreting participants in protests, I was drinking beer at the day. A quick glance at “The shoes, jogging shoes? I would not like to participate in the night hike” was called out. When I asked, “Tonight?” “Tonight.” Preparation also became the first participation in the rain in there.

Well, unlike the mountain walk that I had imagined to join, I ran around while following the landmarks. If it asks, it will be a running club with a tradition for over 80 years. I was surprised that there were clubs in Japan and China, and there were 13 clubs in Hong Kong, and they were running around somewhere in Hong Kong every day. When I return to Beijing, I will also look for a club in Beijing.

While wearing a piece of beer with a glass of sweets on the side, the appearance of the gold small pottery explaining HHH was very charming.  – Anonimo-San

Hare Geriatric

Runners Moonie, Eunuch, Liberace, Catch Of The Day, Anonimo-San, Golden Jelly, Velcro Lips, Radio 1, Tangerine Dream, Serbian Bomber, Creme Brulee, One Eyed Jack, others?

Run 1925, 26 June, Tan Cheung

The Snail and the Hare

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It was a night when my chest seemed to be broken. It doesn’t mean “I’m going to have a big chest and a shirt torn”, and although I’ve been away from selling pearls for two weeks, my feet are recovering day by day and “I want to run fast” every day I hurried to me. It was an exciting night that I might be able to do a quick jog on the mountain path without using crutches.

I was almost certain to get rid of it, and I did not want to keep everyone waiting, so I headed to the starting point early. The starting point was at Plod’s house. It takes 45 minutes by car from home. I told myself not to drink as much as possible. Apart from listening to what I say. Arrived after 7 o’clock. When I pushed my car into the vacant parking space, Eunuch already stood barefoot on the side.

“Hello Catch Of The Day” Eunuch, a classic in short shorts on a black tank top, waved to me. He shakes his hand even if I am near 1m away.

Velcro Lips and Gunpowder Plod appeared from the roof. Plod didn’t want me to go. “There are no wimps. The road is longer than 5 kilometres. I hope you walk here and come back here.”

I started by saying, “I would not come here if I was going to take a walk”. I could leave 20 minutes earlier than everyone else. Unfortunately I made a mistake on most check points. Most of the check points for this time were road choices, though they were Plod’s, who liked moths. I went in 3 directions at the check point in front of the parking lot but I could not find anything. The voice of the infamous short cut guy (One Eyed Jack? – Ed) was heard from behind when I was serious. I cried “Are you? Are you?” In front of the check point even though I did not see it. Even if you are the first runner, who are you asking, “Are you? Are you?” And he went out into the parking lot. If he saw him not coming back, he would probably find a white powder. I also returned my bag and returned to the parking lot. French and Serbia wines ran from the top of the hill.

After that, about 30 checks were placed everywhere. The course continued to the seaside park across the main road. There are no mountains or bushes in this area, so I had to make a short cut from the main road to the climb road. I came to the top from Bill, but I took some time to check. There were a lot of courses if there were many checks on the way back and forth. There was still a check as to say this. After all, Eunuch appeared, and sometime OEJ and Velcro also appeared in front of the slope.

The road was estimated to be 3 kilometres, but I sweated a lot after a long time. While climbing the last slope, I threw down a lot of small snails, and I felt disgust with the words, “I made a bad word, Minamiu Amida Buddha”, but when I arrived on the roof I saw delicious sausages. I entered and I forgot the snail thing in no time.

Plod makes love at first sight to a Hong Kong woman walking on the road, and calls by car “Let’s go home,” and the woman who went to the movie the next day watch TV on the second floor. It was About 40 movie CDs were placed on the table, saying that GB is “Only a masterpiece, bring it home, like it”. The top of the three kittens looked at the cover. What is this? “Oh, I’m proudly proud that this is a great Pussy.”

The last runner Gerry finally arrived when the story of the story was exhausted.

Thank you Back To The Future, and Plod. Beer was also injected into the blood vessels moderately, and looking at the artificial satellite floating in the night sky, romantically “Mars, wood, Pluto” ended. — Catch Of The Day

Hares Gunpowder Plod, Back To The future

Runners One Eyed Jack, Liberace, Velcro Lips, Eunuch, Serbian Bomber, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Geriatric, Creme Brulee

Non-runners Guttermouth, 9 Ignorant Cocks

Run 1924, June 19, Shui Tau

Roughage to the Rescue

Rough stuff

About a dozen runners turned up, mostly in cars at the familiar start near the ancient lady / Bin Mo bridge to experience a trail by a virgin hare (at least for N2TH3), perhaps expecting another One Hung Lo special.

The hare had selected the pagoda with the most mosquitoes, which had the runners itching to go, leaving the hare to search the car park for a late-arriving and lost Back To The Future (or was it Radio 1?). Golden Balls was also a late arrival but was persuaded by a lounging Gunpowder “I already did a walk” Plod to catch up.

The trail followed a familiar route via a couple of open checks towards the hills, which kept the pack more or less together until the trail hit the track near the model plane aerodrome / back seat bonkadrome.

The trail led up through shiggy to another check which led the pack down to the track again and then via another couple of checks and eventually to a long check back to a muddy lake. Back again and around another lake and then up a shiggy track through a thicket (where the hare had an encounter with a ginormous pack of wild boars but which were not seen by the pack).

Then it was down through some graves and more checks on some semi-shiggy paths and finally onto a concrete path winding between market gardens. A couple more checks and then onto a long run in along  Chi Ho Road and back past a graveyard of London taxis and Rolls Royces and home.

First back was Moonie followed by Liberace, Mango Groove, One Eyed Jack, Eunuch and Creme Brulee. Last home was Geriatric.

A rowdy circle was then held (during which the hare revealed that she had a little help from Plod) and the hare’s delicious curry was consumed.  – Mystery Pen

Hares No Rough Stuff with Gunpowder Plod

Runners One Eyed Jack, Liberace, Velcro Lips, Eunuch, Serbian Bomber, Golden Balls, Golden Jelly, Geriatric, Creme Brulee, Mango Groove, Moonie, Radio 1, Back To The Future

Non-runners ??

We’re Back!

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Your webchappy has been trotting. Not to the loo with the screaming shits but to foreign parts, for several weeks. During this time, some runs took place which have all gone unreported. For the record, here they are:

1914 — 24 April — Hok Tau — Penile Dementia

1915 — 1 May — Chuen Lung — Radio 1

1916 — 8 May — ? — Green Head Penis

1917 — 11 May — Stanley — Velcro Lips (Saturday Run No. 22)

1918 — 15 May — ? — Liberace

1919 — 22 May — ? — Mango Groove

1920 — 29 May — ? — Creme Brulee

1921 — 1 June — Kwai Chung — Catch Of The Day (Saturday Run No. 23)

1922 — 5 June — Chow Tin — Catch Of The Day

1923 — 12 June — Ping Yeung — Dingaling